All The Ups And Down Of Being Your Mother’s Best Friend
My mother was the first person to ever tell me that I have to be more of a #boss. Obviously she didn't quite phrase is like that, but the sentiment was all there. She was the first to tell me that the world wasn't going to be as nice to me as I was being to others — I had to toughen up. She comforted me when my friends were being mean and unfair, and she threw her hands up in defeat when I didn't listen to her about a boyfriend. My mother is my best friend and I am hers.
I'm pretty sure I am not her first choice of best friend. She had so many back in Russia! She had to say goodbye to all of them because she wanted me to have more opportunity of in the States, so we emigrated here when I was a kid. Basically I latched onto her and she latched on to me in this weird place called America — we quietly became each other's best friend.
Keeping that in mind, it's sometimes hard being your mother's best friend. For all the positives, there is an almost equal amount of unbearable awkwardness. Obviously, it's not her fault! I'm a weird kid who likes to watch The Eric Andre Show and drag her to see Borat in theaters. She likes to make me watch Russian war movies and HGTV. It's a friendship of give and take, and I often take more than I give. Luckily a lot of people can relate to this and understand that there are many ups and downs to being your mother's best friend.
Up: She Is Up For Being The Bad Guy
If I ever need to get out of a situation I can always ask my mom to take the fall. I just blame her for not being able to go out, or not taking a trip. People never question a mother's authority.
Down: She Gets Mad When We Don't Hang Out
When I come home for vacation I can tell that she's mad I don't spend all my time with her. In her mind I'm her friend first, so when I prioritize others it makes her sad and annoyed.
Unlike your other friends who go shopping with you, your mom already knows your taste (and will occasionally help foot the bill).
Down: You Can't Call Her Out
While she is my best friend, I can't call my mom out like I do with my friends. It's a tricky relationship that way.
Up: She Thinks You Are Really Cool
Having a mom best friend means being the first to introduce her to the coolest, hippest things. You will always be your mom's Gossip Girl.
Down: She Doesn't Get All Of Your References
You can't really talk to her about pop culture in the same way as your other friends. News travels a little slower to moms, for some reason.
Drinks are on mom. Enough said!
Down: ... Bars
While drinks are on mom, flirting with boys is out of the question. It's all about the mom dance.
Up/Down: Mom Guilt
Yeah, it's never pleasant, but nothing can make me do things in my life faster than mom guilt. It's a special kind of guilt your other friends will never conjure up.
Up: Being Sick
You mom will take care of you AND watch old movies. She's the best.
I have a foul mouth, but I have to tone it down significantly when I am around my mother.
You mother will let everyone know about your accomplishments. A best friend does that too, but a mother can do it through an email chain to all of your relatives.
Down: Less Perspective
Because your mother is your mother, that will always come first. All her advice will come from a place of concern for your safety. Your friends have a little more distance, so they can be objective.
Up: Unconditional Love
Nothing I can do will ever stop my mom from loving me and being my best friend. You can lose friends after moving or going away to college, but not your mom. Your mom is here to stay.
Images: WB, Giphy