If you're desperate to know the theme of Season 6 of American Horror Story, don't expect to find the answers within any promotional materials released by FX network. That's right, all the teasers are lies and every last one of your dreams are delusions. OK, maybe I'm being a little overdramatic but that's only because I'm hurt. Vulture reports that FX has been misleading us with their AHS Season 6 teasers since day 1. At a Television Critics Association panel on Tuesday, FX networks and FX productions CEO John Landgraf informed the audience “[FX marketing president] Stephanie Gibbons and her team, with Ryan’s [Ryan Murphy, AHS showrunner] help, did is they went out and made many for trailers for hypothetical seasons of American Horror Story; different genres and different places."
So wait, hold up. They created all this material and none of it's real? That seems like a lot of work just to play with the emotions of fans. Landgraf went on to admit, “one of them is accurate and the others are all misdirects. So we’re just having fun with it, and we just thought it would be fun after five years of doing it one way." Fun for who?! Because all I feel is confusion when looking at the compilation of teasers below.
While he did break some hearts (mine), Landgraf did divulge some useful information, saying that there is a “theme and a setting and a place and a time." He probably means that there's only one theme, setting, place, and time — so time travel is most likely out unless he's just jerking our chains (which is entirely possible).
Even though the creepy staple gun thing definitely wins the spooky award, as does the centipede-on-head, my money is on the shadowy family with glowing eyes being part of the real story. They're just boring enough that it works perfectly with this misdirection idea. This also fits in with some photos that TMZ shared from the AHS set which make it seem like the theme is going to revolve around the lost colony of Roanoke, a group of 117 English settlers who landed in the colonies in 1587 and completely vanished by 1590. A ghostly family in a field definitely goes with the missing colonist vibe (the guys hat could be a pilgrim hat, right?)
Whatever the theme is, we'll have to wait until September 14, when Season 6 premieres, to find out. Don't worry guys, I think we can make it. Stay strong, and read some Stephen King novels to scratch your horror itch. It's going to be OK (I think).
Images: AHS World/Youtube