A recent study in then Archives of Sexual Behavior found that millennials are “significantly more likely to have no sexual partners” than generation X. Maybe it's all the living at home. Maybe it's the crippling student debt. Maybe we'd rather focus on obscure ironic latte art, Snapchat filters, or pizza. But recently headlines have been screaming that millennials are not having sex.
But wait — aren't we the age group that's all about sex? Random, Tinder-facilitated, meaningless sex? It's not so long ago we were maligned as the "hookup generation"— so obsessed with phones and instant gratification and convenience that a relationship was out of the question?
I call BS. What are we actually doing? My guess is that we're having healthy, fulfilling sex lives — whether that means a lot of sex or hardly any. Maybe all the contradictions come from the fact that more sex positivity means we can embrace sex and have a lot of it, but more awareness of asexuality and other orientations means that there's no pressure to if we don't want to. I think it's just that we're all doing more of what we want, or at least I hope that's the case.
So I spoke to actual millennials to find out how much sex they're actually having, and it's all over the map:
1. Zoe, 29
Sex is a huge part of my relationship. We have sex, on average, 5-6 times a week. More if our work schedules match up. We don't worry if we miss a couple of days, but if we go more than that we'll normally touch base and just make sure everything's cool. Stress or tiredness can get in the way, but it's good to at least touch on it so we know what the cause is and don't worry there's a bigger problem.
2. Susan, 29
Is it normal to keep track? I don't have a BF at the moment and was a massively late bloomer, so I'm sowing my wild oats a bit! But still, because it's just a hookup here or there, it's not that many. Maybe once a month? But would love for it to be more!
3. Sarah, 24
I have sex with myself every day?
4. James, 30
I can't remember the last time I had sex. I would totally have it! I'll put it like this, it's not top of my priority list, which means it's rare. I just have other stuff I'm focusing on right now and don't have the energy to arrange a date or a hookup after work. I used to do it more, but got sick of canceling and rearranging when things got complicated.
5. Kathryn, 30
3-4 a week.
6. Ali, 27
With my fiancé's new business and my new job it's not easy, but at least once a week we make an effort to make sure we make the time for each other. It's more about the intimacy — if we don't do it I feel like we're growing apart.
7. Suzannah, 24
It depends. Sometimes my boyfriend and I have sex a few times in a week, but when either of us have a lot on[,] our sex drive drops. Going a month without sex isn't unusual. I can tell my friends think it's weird, but it works for us and I'm happy.
8. Maria, 31
I just had a baby, ask me again in 2 months.
9. Ben, 29
I'm in a long-distance relationship. When we see each other we pretty much have sex for 2 days non-stop. But then there are weeks (or months) with zilch. Skype sex is just too friggin weird. It's ending in like 4 months and I'm counting the days, LOL!
10. Sarah, 28
As often as I can get it from a 6 or higher.
11. Lisa, 28
Currently dry spelling.
12. Molly, 29
I've had sex 2 times this year, and honestly, as someone who seriously needs to get over an ex before I can date again, that's fine with me!
13. Sandy, 29
It fluctuates, but lately it's been 2-3 times a week. Being single in New York City is fun, to say the least.
14. Jessica, 30
I'm single and in a rut. About 2 times this year.
15. Clem, 28
I'm probably on 4-5 times a week or so. Could always be happy with more... My personal best was 15 times in a weekend. (Super proud and sore after that one.)
Images: Andrew Zaeh for Bustle; Giphy (15)