Books

14 Book Quotes For The Monday Blues

by Charlotte Ahlin
Sami Kallio / 500px/500Px Plus/Getty Images

Monday. It's a grim yet unavoidable fact of life. And the only thing worse than the Monday blues are all those insipid mugs and T-shirts and that claim to hate Mondays as much as you do. They don't understand. I mean, why does Garfield even hate Mondays? He is a cat. He is not gainfully employed. Anyway, here are some book quotes to make you feel better about your Monday slump.

The trouble with Monday is that normal cheer up quotes don't work. You might adore the words of Walt Whitman or Jane Austen, but on Monday all beautiful writing is garbage, and why didn't you go to bed earlier on Sunday night? You know that six hours of sleep is not enough sleep for you. And inevitably, the coffee shop will be out of your favorite muffins on Monday morning, and your roommate will be especially loud and cheerful about going for her run at six am, and the train will be late, and you'll have to wear that shirt with the stain because you meant to do your laundry on Sunday but it just didn't happen. That's when you need to pull out the heavy artillery of literary quotes.

So here are a few phrases from literature that might help ease that sleepy Monday morning rage:

1. Reality continues to ruin my life.

― Bill Watterson, The Essential Calvin and H obbes

2. I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.

― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt

3. I love mankind ... it's people I can't stand!!

― Charles M. Schulz, The Complete Peanuts, Vol. 5: 1959-1960

4. “Do you remember me telling you we are practicing non-verbal spells, Potter?” "Yes," said Harry stiffly. "Yes, sir." "There's no need to call me "sir" Professor."

― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

5. If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful voice, "Well this isn't too bad, I don't have a left arm anymore but at least nobody will ever ask me if I'm left-handed or right-handed," but most of us would say something more along the lines of, "Aaaaaa! My arm! My arm!”

― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish

6. It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.

― Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent

7. What fresh hell is this?

― Dorothy Parker, The Portable Dorothy Parker

8. It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.

― Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere's Fan

9. Telling me to relax or smile when I’m angry is like bringing a birthday cake into an ape sanctuary. You’re just asking to get your nose and genitals bitten off.

― Amy Poehler, Yes Please

10. Life isn't fair, it's just fairer than death, that's all.

― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

11. I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.

― P.G. Wodehouse, The Code of the Woosters

12. It's not always easy to distinguish between existentialism and a bad mood.

― Matthew Woodring Stover, Blade of Tyshalle

13. What you're supposed to do when you don't like a thing is change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it. Don't complain.

― Maya Angelou, Wouldn't Take Nothing for My Journey Now

14. There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.

― Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

Images: Sami Kallio / 500px/500Px Plus/Getty Images, Giphy (14)