Ready the waterproof mascara, because Bachelor icon Ashley Iaconetti will return to Paradise on Tuesday night. A few hours before the episode aired on ABC, E! Online shared an exclusive preview of Ashley I.’s Bachelor in Paradise Season 3 debut, and it is definitely something to squawk about. Yeah, her cast's reactions to her arrival are entertaining and all, but the true highlight is when Ashley I. pours her heart out to a bird and the bird offers up a feathered bird shoulder to cry on.
(And yeah, by "Ashley I. pours her heart out to a bird," I do mean "Ashley I. actually pours her heart out to a human or whatever but the editors got goofy with some footage of a parrot chatting away and I realize that the Ashley I./bird heart-to-heart is not real." But you know what? I don't care.)
Why do I love this scene so much? Because it calls to mind a Bachelor in Paradise contestant/wild animal duo of yore: Clare Crawley (aka quite possibly the greatest BiP contestant we will ever have) and her raccoon confidant. When Clare "retired," I assumed we'd never again see such a moving contestant/wild animal friendship on BiP. Oh, how dare I underestimate Paradise! If the sneak peek of tonight's ep if to be believed, we may have another incredible BiP contestant/animal pairing in our midst.
Now, I know the Bachelor animal bits aren’t for everyone; this franchise is supposed to be about people finding love on ziplines, not miniature horses swiping Cheetos from the craft services table when they think no one is looking. But do you know what I say to those detractors? At least corny animal bits are better than Josh Murray’s pizza moans.
And don’t try to tell me that you’d rather hear Josh Murray let out groan after groan while he’s sucking down a plain cheese slice than watch a corny animal scene. I will not bird-lieve you.
Image: Bob D'amico/ABC