As an adult, I don't like to have a lot of stuff. I've gotten rid of as much as I can because I prefer to live a simpler life. As kids, however, we loved stuff. We took as much as we could get our hands on, and in the process, ended up with those embarrassing things we collected in the '90s. And by embarrassing, I obviously mean still kind of awesome.
We loved these collectibles at the time, but looking back on it now has me wondering what we were thinking. Take milky pens, for example. Awesome? Darn right. But did we really need 50 of them? I can remember being unable to close my Lisa Frank pencil case because it was so stuffed with milky pens that the zipper was screaming for help. Just a tad excessive, me thinks. And don't think I didn't notice if one was missing; I would flip over every desk in the classroom if it meant the safe return of my missing milky pen.
The '90s were epic for so many reasons, one of which being the delight we took in the absolutely dumbest things. I'm not hating — believe me. Because I collected many of these things myself. Shame. Shame. Shame on me. (But also, sorry not sorry.)
1. Hit Clips
Kids today get whatever songs they want with the click of a button. Back in our day, it was low-quality one-minute clips. And we loved it. So embarrassing.
2. Jonathan Taylor Thomas Posters
3. Fancy Erasers
It wasn't the functionality you were after — who TF needs 40 erasers? But they were so dang cute. Rainbows and frogs and cherries. Ugh. Take me back.
4. Finger Skateboards
We didn't say, "Let's go outside and ride skateboards!" No. That would've made too much sense. Instead, we said, "Let's stay inside and play with our fingers!"
5. "Got Milk?" Ads
I loved these ads so much that my mom actually bought me the "Got Milk?" book — the definitive collection of all milky ads to date.
Hey! Here's a great idea! Let's play with cardboard!
7. Fast Food Toys
I loved these, and I don't care who knows it. It was especially exciting when a new animated movie was coming out, and the toys coordinated. I would beg my mom for fast food just to get the toy. Clever marketing, you guys.
These things were dope, but that was no excuse to abuse the privilege. I had about 10 of them, and I wore them around my neck on a chain. Basically, I was looking for ways NOT to have any friends.
9. Beanie Babies
I get the craze. Really, I do. But what's the point of these things? Kids like stuff they can touch and play with. Did a friend ever call you up and say, "Hey! Wanna come over and stare at my bean bag animals?" No. No.
These had a one-up on Tamagotchis, though: You could completely neglect them without feeling guilty that they died.
11. Troll Dolls
It was really about having one of every belly button color. I was all about these things; but still... look at that thing.
12. Slap Bracelets
Oddest form of self-punishment ever.
Images: amixstudio/Fotolia; Giphy (5)