The Big Challenges Women With High Sex Drives Face

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If you fantasize about sex frequently, masturbate on the daily, and always have an insatiable urge to press the flesh, you might be a woman with a high sex drive. Contrary to what patriarchy would have us believe, this doesn't make you a "slut" or a "dream girl," and it doesn't make you better or worse than a woman with an average or low sex drive. Still, being female and DTF often means you will be judged in both explicit or subtle ways by those around you.

As long as there has been recorded history, there has been the idea that men of any sexual orientation crave sex like they crave air and water. Women's sexual desires, on the other hand, have been demonized if they fall outside socially acceptable bounds. Case in point: hysteria.

Originating in ancient Greece, hysteria was a catch all diagnosis for women that explained a host of things, from anxiety to increased libido. Up until the early 20th century, women could literally be deemed sick if they were horny in a way that was "inappropriate." Although hysteria is thankfully a sexist thing of the past, women with high sex drives still face a certain level of stigma, and are likely to face at least one of the following challenges:

1. Intimidating Their Partners

As the stereotype goes, men are horn dogs, so all they want is get laid. However, if you're a woman with a high sex drive who dates men, the odds are ironically stacked against you. In a study published in the European Journal of Social Psychology, researchers found that women in heterosexual relationships tend to become more confident if their male partner shows increased sexual desire, but the opposite happens for men. According to the authors: "A woman’s high levels of sex drive might be connoted with infidelity tendencies and be thus perceived by men as a relationship threat."

Basically, some straight guys are scared of highly sexual women. This isn't the case for all men, of course, so ladies with amplified sexual interests just need to find a dude (or dudes) who can keep up with them, and who won't judge them.

2. Being Slut-Shamed By Friends And Partners

Women get slut-shamed for their perceived sexual activity and for their actual sexual activity. However, when friends and lovers know you are very sexually inclined, the slut-shaming can reach a fever pitch. This is particularly true if your high sex drive inspires you to engage in casual sex or in consensual non-monogamy, so it's helpful to surround yourself with likeminded people to avoid sex-negative judgement when possible.

3. Having Their Desires Pathologized

Sex addiction is a serious issue, and you should get help if you believe you have a problem. However, what some may call sex addiction, because it transgresses the boundaries of what they view as "normal sex," others may call sexual freedom. Just as women were diagnosed as hysterics for being "abnormally" horny back in the day, women with high sex drives can be called "nymphomaniacs" or "sex addicts" merely because of sexist beliefs about female pleasure. Your desires shouldn't be pathologized by friends and lovers — save that for the medical professionals.

4. Not Being Trusted By Friends And Lovers

As the study cited above suggests, there is a fundamental distrust certain folks feel when faced with a woman who has a high sex drive. However, experiencing an above average libido doesn't mean that person will trample friends and lovers' feelings in order to sate their voracious cravings for sex. It doesn't mean they'll steal your boyfriend or girlfriend, and it doesn't mean they'll automatically cheat on you. An individual's morality has nothing to do with how much or how little they want sex. Sure, a woman's heightened need for sex might make some folks who can't relate a little uncomfortable, but it doesn't automatically make her a cheater or an partner-stealing manipulator.

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