When I turned 11, I was certain my Hogwarts letter wasn't in the mail. I mean, I was pretty sure. After all, just because I was a Harry Potter super fan who had surrounded herself with every possible Harry Potter gift and merchandise piece available, that didn't mean I lost all sense of reality. Did I really expect an acceptance letter from a fictional school of magic to find its way to my suburban Florida home? Okay — yes, you bet I did. I stalked the mailbox, I searched the skies for flying motorcycles. Unfortunately, Hogwarts must have waitlisted me or something.
It was a heartbreaking realization for someone who had only had a taste of the sweet life, courtesy of eating a lifetime's share of Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans. One of my sweet muggle friends, who could obviously tell I needed something stronger than your average Cheering Charm, gifted me with a replica of Harry Potter's wand from SkyMall. (I broke it a week later, but turns out there are plenty more where that came from — and you don't even have to sit through Ollivander's speech about the wand choosing the wizard to get one.) So for those of you whose Hogwarts letters also got lost in the mail, I took the liberty of rounding up a few necessary Harry Potter presents to gift yourself (or your pal) that will help you pass the time until you're finally boarding the Hogwarts Express.
1. A Tasteful Throw Pillow
Decorbox Cotton Linen Throw Pillow , $10, Amazon
"A sock, a snow globe, and some bad weather — what a strange pillow!" your unsuspecting muggle guests will exclaim.
2. Helpful Ministry Of Magic Decal
Ministry of Magic Bathroom Decal , $10, Amazon
Your friends might think it's weird you call your toilet bowl magic, but you'll know.
3. A Chess Set That's Better Than Your Parents' Set
Harry Potter Wizard Chess Set , $49, Amazon
It's totally barbaric, but that's wizard's chess.
4. Lumos & Nox Decal Sticker
Lumos Nox Decal Sticker , $5, Amazon
Lights on, lights off — just like magic!
5. Harry Potter Coloring Book
Harry Potter Coloring Book , $11, Amazon
Color in 96 pages of everything from Dobby's fluffy ears to a quidditch set.
6. Color-Changing Coffee Mug With A Hidden Message
Kitchen Mansion Harry Potter Color Changing Mug , $19, Amazon
When you realize your genuine replica of the Elder Wand has zero effect on, well, anything — you'll take magic where you can get it. And you know what? Sometimes, the most magical thing in the world is a cup of coffee. No need to tell this mug to "Reveal your secrets," either, as the magical transformation will take place with a little heat.
7. Don't Ask Xenophilius Lovegood What This Bracelet Means
Deathly Hallows Handmade Bracelet, $3, Amazon
You know, unless you have an Erumpent horn nearby for a quick getaway. (I still haven't gotten over that.)
8. Death Eater Tattoo
Death Eater Mark Tattoo , $12, Amazon
Want to give everyone you know the heebie-jeebies? Simply apply this temporary tattoo.
9. It's Always Harry Potter Time
Hogwarts Castle Vinyl Record Wall Clock, $43, Amazon
This Harry Potter clock is handmade, crafted out of a vintage vinyl record and requires an AA battery.
10. "You're The Fourth Unforgiveable Curse"
Harry Potter Insults Handbook: 101 Comebacks For The Slytherin In Your Life , $9, Amazon
Because everyone has a Malfoy in their life.
11. Marauder's Map Tapestry Throw
Marauder's Map Tapestry Throw, $28, Amazon
While a paper replica of the Marauder's Map might not have an applicable use to your life (yet), this throw will keep you nice and snuggly while you screen your Harry Potter movies back to back.
12. Cook Like A Wizard (But Without The Magic Part)
The Unofficial Harry Potter Cookbook, $11, Amazon
This cookbook's 150 recipes delighted reviewers, who were able to sample it all — from Treacle Tart to Kreacher's French Onion Soup.
13. Official Hogwarts Business
Vintage Harry Potter School Badge Wax Seal Stamp, $13, Amazon
Okay, okay, so obviously Professor McGonagall is just super busy. Speed things along by writing your letter yourself and sealing it with official Hogwarts wax sealants. Which way to Diagon Alley, again?
14. Magical Ears
Harry Potter Earrings (6-Piece Set) , $30, Amazon
These charming earrings have already cast a spell over me!
15. A Collectible Quidditch Set
Harry Potter: Collectible Quidditch Set , $23, Amazon
Just keep your set away from well-meaning house elves.
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Images: Amazon (15); GIPHY (6)
