Time heals all wounds and propels us forward into our beautiful destinies, or at least in the case of Rick Perry, it does. On Monday night, Perry made his debut on Dancing With the Stars. It showed the country that the former governor of Texas has come a long glorious way since he dropped out of the presidential race in September 2015. Just a year ago Perry conceded political defeat in an address in St. Louis, telling the country:
Today, I am suspending my campaign for the presidency of the United States. Life is good. I am a blessed man.
But now, fully embodying the blessed life he claimed a year ago, people of the world can watch a joyfully virile Perry sashay his hips to the song "God Blessed Texas" with Emma Slater on season 23 of Dancing With the Stars, and really, isn't that better than being president?!
While yes, technically the spirited pair got the lowest scores of the night, scoring only five out of 10 with all four judges, the unadulterated zeal spilling out of Perry's eyes as he awkwardly dodged towards a fake corn-dog stand (I'm fully dead) scored a perfect 10 in my heart.
Presidential debate ain't even in the class. Oh, man, come on, this is crazy good. This is as good as it gets.
Oh, Rick, we can see it in your eyes as you gorgeously flail your embroidered arms.
Honestly, if you carefully watch the whole dance, you can see Perry shedding years of political rejection and misjudgment through the movement of his hips. Seeing Perry dance may be as cathartic for America as it is for him.
There is an undeniable honesty in the passionate gaping mouth Perry has here. This is a man who's not only ready for a staged corn-dog, he's ready to dance his way into a better life.
If his bid for presidency involved even a fraction of the O-face and dramatic arm statement moves that he delivered on Dancing With the Stars, Perry might have had a chance. There's no disputing he's more emotionally vibrant when immersed in the world of dance.
Besides obviously watering the deep well of dance within Perry's soul, hopefully this season of Dancing With the Stars can finally unite us as a nation. As long as Perry continues to expend his energy dancing farther and farther away from politics, he has my vote.