Ryan Lochte started off Dancing With The Stars on a weird note — during the premiere, two anti-Lochte protesters stormed the stage when he and partner Cheryl Burke were waiting for their scores, and it was very scary and sad. Scary because, hello, security breach, but sad, because Ryan’s face was so hurt and nervous that I just wanted to hug him. His mom was in the Dancing With The Stars audience, too, and she cried! They made his mother cry! But Ryan Lochte lifted the spirits of the Dancing With The Stars audience with a dance to The Muppet Show theme, and it totally worked.
Ryan Lochte has been such a polarizing figure in recent months, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t have feelings! And his mother! Ugh. The Muppet Show was exactly what he and Cheryl Burke needed to boost their dancing morale. The dance wasn’t the cleanest one I’ve ever seen on Dancing With The Stars, but they had fun doing it, and honestly, fun was what Cheryl and Ryan needed after last week’s debacle. They were given straight 6s from all the judges, which landed them squarely in the middle-bottom (the judges were not that friendly this week).
What are Ryan and Cheryl’s chances of winning Dancing With The Stars? I mean, I don’t
think they’re great, but they’re not awful, either. He’s better than Rick Perry
(who has two left feet), but not nearly as good as Laurie Hernandez (but who
is?). I think that if Ryan can push the distractions out of his mind and focus
on the task at hand (screw those protesters), he’ll get better and better and
butterfly his way into the finals. He has some Olympic medals, but he still has
an eye on that Mirrorball trophy.