When it comes to finding the best sex position out there, it depends on what you feel comfortable and confident doing. But sometimes the position you choose can actually help you feel more empowered and sexy. For some people, being in control in the bedroom comes naturally, but other people need some help to feel confident.
So how do you get there? There are lots of tips out there to help you feel confident in the bedroom. Obviously having the right partner helps. Having a partner who isn't shy about showing how much you turn them on and how much they're loving having sex with you is an amazing confidence-booster, but sometimes you need to flip a switch inside to really feel confident and empowered.
"I think confidence is different than a confident attitude," Amy Levine, sex coach at Ignite Your Pleasure, tells Bustle. "You can have a confident attitude [that can help you] 'fake it until you make it.'" Have this attitude for long enough and you'll start feeling confident— for real.
What's the best way to fake your confident attitude (and not orgasms) until you make it? Luckily there are a whole bunch of positions that will help you channel your inner sexual goddess and make you feel empowered AF. Here are seven positions that ensure you'll be feelin' yourself:
1. Reverse Cowgirl
How To Do It: Straddle your partner while facing their feet, then lower yourself slowly onto them. You can bounce or grind, lean forward or back — feel free to experiment. And, a spare hand for clit or nipple play doesn't hurt.
Why It's Empowering: I mean, it's basically going to make you feel like a porn star. Because you can't see each other, it really feels all about the sex— and you getting just what you need.
2. The Seated Backbend
How To Do It: Slowly and carefully. You start off on top and then lean back — depending on how flexible you are you may only go as far as your forearms. Your partner should help you go back by holding your hands and working as leverage.
Why It's Empowering: It's a tricky position so you'll feel like an expert, plus you get to lay back and have it all be about you.
3. Legs Up Missionary
How To Do It: Start in missionary, then move your legs up. If you can get your ankles over their shoulders that will be the most comfortable, but if you don't make it that far then don't worry — it'll still be deep enough.
Why It's Empowering: It's really, really deep penetration, plus amazing face-to-face contact. It's intense. But in the best way.
4. Doggy With Vibrator
How To Do It: It's all about doing you. You do traditionally doggy style but add your favorite toy into the mix. You can use it on your nipples or clit and play with the strength of it — even share it with them if you're feeling generous.
Why It's Empowering: You're getting really deep penetration and insanely strong clit penetration. It's all happening.
How To Do It: You just get to sit and relax while they get to sit and go to town. Sit on the edge of the bed or couch while they sit on the floor and use their tongue, fingers, toys — whatever's around and feels good. Don't be afraid to tell them what feels good.
Why It's Empowering: Um, they're basically worshipping your vagina. Because it should be worshipped. The end.
6. In A Chair
How To Do It: After your partner sits in the chair, straddle and face them. You can grind or, if your feet hit the floor, bounce as well. Your partner can only your hips or shoulder to help guide the motion.
Why It's Empowering: In a chair is always a sexy twist, but in this one you're facing each other so it feels really intimate. Because you're in the dominant position and an unusual location, it's extra empowering.
How To Do It: While your partner lays down flat, straddle them and lower yourself down. You can lean forward close enough for kissing and intimacy or lean back and just focus on bumping and grinding — either way, it's stupidly sexy.
Why It's Empowering: It's the OG of empowering positions. Classic woman on top. Your partner gets a great view of you, you feel like effing Wonder Woman, and there's eye contact and clit play potential. It's a classic for a reason.
Images: Caroline Wurtzel/Bustle