In an honest and deeply emotional post he shared on Facebook Tuesday night, Kid Cudi revealed that he checked himself into rehab on Monday due to suicidal thoughts and depression. The "Day & Night" rapper was candid and heartbreakingly sincere in the long message to fans, stating that he felt like " a damaged human swimming in a pool of emotions everyday of my life," and that if he didn't enter the rehab facility he "would've done something to myself."
"Yesterday I checked myself into rehab for depression and suicidal urges," Cudi wrote on Facebook. "I am not at peace. I haven't been since you've known me. If I didn't come here, I wouldve done something to myself. I simply am a damaged human swimming in a pool of emotions everyday of my life. Theres a ragin violent storm inside of my heart at all times."
"Idk what peace feels like. Idk how to relax. My anxiety and depression have ruled my life for as long as I can remember and I never leave the house because of it," he continued. "I cant make new friends because of it. I dont trust anyone because of it and Im tired of being held back in my life. I deserve to have peace. I deserve to be happy and smiling."
Cudi explained that he felt deeply ashamed of his struggles, but it was something that he had to come to terms with in order to better himself. He stated that he decided to get help for the sake of his own mental health — and to be there for his family, including his young daughter, whom he calls his "best friend."
"Its been difficult for me to find the words to what Im about to share with you because I feel ashamed. Ashamed to be a leader and hero to so many while admitting I've been living a lie," he wrote. "It took me a while to get to this place of commitment, but it is something I have to do for myself, my family, my best friend/daughter and all of you, my fans."
Cudi's announcement comes several weeks after he became embroiled in a feud with Kanye West, a surprising move since he and the rapper had collaborated in the past and were friends.
Kid Cudi should be commended for his incredible bravery and emotional honesty, but most of all for seeking help when he realized he needed to do so in order to save his life. Get well soon.