The best relationships I’ve had were with people I’ve had solid friendships with. We weren’t best friends to begin with —not that dating your best friend can’t lead to long-term love, because it can. Instead, there was chemistry that naturally lead to building a relationship based on friendship over time. “It’s just like building a home,” matchmaker and dating coach Julia Bekker tells Bustle. “There needs to be a foundation, a solid ground that holds everything together. Friendship is the floor and the glue that keeps a union in tact.”
According to Bekker, many facets of a partnership can be temporary, fleeting or misleading. People may fall in love with an idea or someone they have explosive chemistry with but when the passion starts to inevitably fizzle and life throws us those unforeseen hardships, friendship is the one element that can remain as strong as ever. “It is the core component to any and every lasting relationship,” Bekker says. “Friendship dictates the dynamic between two people and instills common ground and respect. It is the key to survival and longevity. With companionship should come laughter, amusement, and an unconditional love for one another; that kind of love and acceptance is only found in true friendship."
Sounds great, right? Knowing your best friends with someone can happen at anytime. Sometimes you may not even realize it until it finally hits you. So here are some signs that you and your partner are really best friends:
1. You Feel Really Comfortable Around Them
You can be yourself, completely, 100 percent. You can talk to them about anything and everything. They see the good and the bad. You let them in on your embarrassing quirks and you’re not even ashamed about it. It’s all because they never judge you. Most importantly, you never feel like you’re being judged. You can wear whatever you want and say whatever comes to mind and you know they will always love and accept you. “You let them see the honest version of who you are,” she says.
2. You Always Want Them Around
Whether you’re out with the fam, have a work thing to attend, or a get together with friends, you want your SO there because you genuinely enjoy having them around. “They make you feel great about who you are and you invite them to join you because you genuinely want them there, not because you feel obligated to invite them,” Bekker says.
3. They Support You
They believe in you always, especially in those times when you don’t believe in yourself. They push you to accept yourself and fight for your dreams. But the key here is, they’re not only present in your highs, they’re there through your lows. “They are there to give you the boost of faith and kick in the butt you need,” Bekker says. “Even when you are in the wrong they have your back, they never let you down, and when you fall they are always there to pick you up.”
4. You Want To Share Everything With Them
Something funny, something sad, something that pissed you off— no matter what it is and whatever happens, you can’t wait to share it with them. When they aren’t there with you, you find yourself wishing they were.
5. You Are Two Peas In A Pod
You are very much in sync with one another to the point where you can complete each other’s sentences more than half the time. It’s the classic case of they know you better than you know yourself sometimes. “You have many of the same interests, see eye to eye on most things and get along as if, well, as if it were your bestie,” Bekker says.
6. You Amuse Each Other
Life’s not a constant drama when you’re together. In fact, according to Bekker, it doesn’t matter where you are or what you’re doing, you just enjoy being around each other. “When you are dating your best friend you will be so happy doing nothing with them it might be hard to even leave the house!” Bekker says. “You can easily stay in with them every night and be perfectly fine with it. They are the person you would want to be stuck in an elevator with.”
7. They Really Listen
They listen because they care about you and want to be there for you. Most importantly, they know you and understand you. They listen to your thoughts and opinions because they love you and respect. You can even feel that love and respect they have for you. Of course, you want to listen and be there for them as well. “When you are with your best friend, you listen to each other and conversations are not one-sided,” Bekker says.
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