Why Brian on 'Real World Ex-Plosion' Is the Most Quotable Guy on Reality TV
Real World: Ex-Plosion's Brian Williams, Jr. is not an original roommate. Brian Williams, Jr. is Jenny Delich's ex-boyfriend. Brian Williams, Jr. is one of the exes caught in the infamous (and brilliant) ex-plosion. While the original roommates wish the ex-plosion never went down, I am so overjoyed that it did. This season has yet to disappoint me. It has yet to lose its luster. The new twist? Ooh, is it ever just what the doctor ordered! And more specifically, it would be an absolute travesty if Brian was not a part of the cast. Brian is the six-pack’d guy who rocks a tiny tank top better than anyone, practices his bodybuilder poses on the beach, and takes his Thought Records very seriously. Aaaand he says some of the best stuff on TV.
(Note: As noteable and quotable as he is, I don't think he's without flaw. Wasn't down with him kissing another lady on camera with intent to hurt Jenny's feelings. Wasn't down with him pushing Jenny during their water fight. Shit, man.)
The only way to prove how incredible the stuff that comes out of his mouth is? Specific examples. Here are some of my favorite Brian quotes from the season:
“That must be ‘bro-pocalypse.’”
I usually gag at the word “bromance,” but “bro-pocalypse”? Oh, wow. That made me LOL for a good five minutes.
“I invest my heart within you.”
This is so raw. So real.
“College is going to be the best thing for me. Because I’m very passionate and a deep thinker.”
“I bet you I can box jump this.”
I bet you can box jump that, too.
"It's easier to be an astronaut than it used to be."
Brian’s MVP moment? When Thomas Buell and Cory Wharton tell him they want him (and the other exes) to hightail it on out of the house for good. Imagine, if you will, you're calmly preparing a late-night snack. It might be after a night of drinking. You might equal parts tired and hungry. You just want to get your snack on and hit the hay. But then, a roommate charges you while you're assembling your snack and tells you he doesn't want you there anymore. And another roommate chimes in. And they get more and more aggressive (you bet they resort to below-the-belt digs) as the confrontation continues. What do you do? Do you:
A) Ignore them until they get bored?B) Match their aggression?C) Curl up into the fetal position?D) Throw your snack-making supplies at them and run away?E) Calmly respond?
Brian chooses option "E," and it makes for a phenomenal moment. Thomas and Cory become increasingly frustrated with Brian's chill demeanor. You've gotta watch it:
Zen master. Let us pay homage:
“I won’t even begin on that subject, ‘cause tomorrow, when we can reflect on it, that might be the best time.”
“That’s your maturity level, not mine.”
I mean, sick burn.
“You guys have a sentimental connection with one another, and it’s unacceptable—"
Again, so rational.
“I just really don’t like that aggression. That really doesn’t, I don’t like it.”
I wish I said this to the woman who tried to push past me in the crowded farmers market last weekend. She yelled, "MOVE!" and elbowed me in the side. I mumbled,"Jeez Louise" under my breath. I don't think she heard me."I just really don't like that aggression" would've been much more effective.
“That hurt my feelings, Tom.”
BOOM. To the point.
While we're here, let's enjoy some some Brian memes:
I'll never forget when one of my philosophy professors "proved" a generic pencil sharpener was a piece of art. It really stuck with me. Changed my worldview. Ever since, I've been pretty open to anything being art/artistic/an art.
This is the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said about another person.
Images: MTV; MTV.com(3)