It’s not secret that committing to the Gilmore Girls diet as a lifestyle choice will work poorly for those of us not starring in an early 2000s CW show. Lorelai and Rory’s penchant for all things greasy, sugary, and heavily caffeinated is a heart attack and a half for us regular folk. Still, with the Netflix Gilmore Girls revival coming to your laptop November 25, you have a valid excuse to indulge.
Now, I’m not talking about the standard meals of a Gilmore girl: the pizza, the Chinese food from Al’s, the boatloads of free cheeseburgers, and the coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee. You’re certainly more than welcome to go hard on Seamless with any of those foods, make no mistake. But I'm mostly talking about the junk food you can easily enlist your friends to grab during your Gilmore Girls: A Year In The Life viewing party. Likewise, if you’re not super keen on cooking (like a proper Gilmore), then these are easy things to round up at your local grocery store. Just make sure to dodge your high school boyfriend while you’re there.
Anyway, without any delay or regard to your health, I encourage you to pick up the following salty-sweet treats to watch during the Gilmore Girls revival. You know, if you really want to get into it.
1. Red Vines
This may be a sacrilegious starter pick if you come from a Twizzlers family, but, sorry, I don't make the rules. Lorelai and Rory have a particular preference for this brand of licorice, and no viewing party is complete without it.
Donuts are another Gilmore staple, so much so that Lorelai once even made an awkward little rhyme about them (kind of) when mulling over her options. She ends up sticking with a chocolate and sprinkled, but if your heart is set on a jelly or glazed, go crazy.
3. Cheese Puffs
Cheese Puffs are the unsung hero of Gilmore snack foods: you never explicitly hear the Gilmores gush about them, but they're a tried-and-true mainstay in their typical movie time banquet. Which makes sense, because nothing screams "junk food" more than those powdery, artificially-colored curls of goodness.
Lorelai gets a whole bunch of Mallomars spelling out, "Happy Birthday, Lorelai," and then replaces the one she ate to preserve the art installation, something that baffles Luke. You can just eat them straight from the box, if that sounds too complicated for you.
It seems strange to lump marshmallows and Mallomars together — because aren't Mallomars just 1/3rd marshmallows anyway? — yet our girls are partial to the treat. I would go with one or the other, although I'm sure the Gilmores would decide against that.
I don't know if they have Freedom, Rebellion, and/or Independence flavor out yet, so maybe stick to something classic. Lorelai seems to have a fondness for the old school strawberry frosted tarts.
Emily brings these bad boys out on a plate, because she heard they're Rory's favorite dessert. Adorable. Also, kind of gross.
I'm not entirely sure if Lorelai is attracted to one particular flavor of pie or if she doesn't discriminate. I guess you're just going to have to head to Weston's and load up.
9. Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream
I'm specifying Ben & Jerry's here because that's Rory's pick when she's finally ready to do some post-break-up wallowing. She gets two gallons of Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough and two gallons of Cherry Garcia, and, while I highly endorse those flavors, I wouldn't recommend that quantity.
10. Potato Chips
Why make things complex? The Gilmores are great fans, so get those Pringles popping.
11. Dessert Sushi
Why be incredibly lazy? Get your most Pinterest-obsessed friend to tackle the same sweet treat Lorelai used to smooth over Rory's cancelled Asia trip... and the announcement that she had slept with Christopher.
Well, how can you not? At the end of the day, popcorn is a great go-to snack for watching drama unfold at a town meeting, an Audrey Hepburn film with the father of your child, and the revival of your favorite early 2000s CW show.
Now the buffet at your Gilmore Girls viewing party is complete. You can thank me later.
Images: Netflix; Giphy (12)