39 Things You Notice When You Rewatch 'Twitches'
If you haven't seen the 2005 made-for-TV Disney Channel movie Twitches, then you're in for a treat right now. If you have seen the 2005 made-for-TV Disney Channel movie Twitches, then you're in for an even bigger treat right now, as it'll be the second time round — this movie was and is everything. In fact, there are so many things you notice when you watch Twitches , if you are on your second viewing, it'll still feel like the first time you're watching. And, if you're on your first viewing, I ask you: What's not to love? I mean, if you like Sister Sister stars Tia and Tamara Mowry, then you're in luck: They star. If you're into twins who are also witches, then you're also in luck and you should probably name your first born after this movie: It's about twins who are also witches. And, if you're into feel-good, love-can-conquer all storulines, then — you guessed it — you're in luck, because all of that is on the table.
So, yeah, whatever your relationship with this film — first viewing, second viewing, fifth viewing — it's very obviously worth another watch right now. Good thing I'm here with a handy-dandy guide to everything you notice when you watch it:
1. '00s Opening Credits Rule Of Thumb: The Lower-Tech The Graphics, The More Delightful The Movie
This could be the graphics for a trading cards game. But, since the movie’s joy is in inverse proportion to the graphics, this is a very good sign.
2. Also, How Great Is This Shot?
Digging this Windows 95 screensaver vibe.
3. Why Is Spoiled Rich Kid Cameron Still Living At Home?
If she’s at college, why isn't she in a single dorm, or at the very least, luxury housing off campus? It's not like she needs to be thrifty. Even Blair Waldorf moved into the dorms at NYU in Gossip Girl! This makes zero sense.
4. Are You Feeling A Subtle Sense Of Contrast Between Twin Alex's Cake And Cameron's?
This is Alex's “cake,” and we’re meant to feel sorry for her because of it. But honestly, strawberry yogurt, cheerios, and candy corns sound and look delicious, so I’m not buying this.
5. Alex’s Best Friend’s Hair Curtains Are Giving Me All The Feels
This gives me heavy nostalgia. Back in 2005, I rocked these same half-hearted bangs, which I would occasionally butterfly clip off tightly to the sides. This made me look like a severe Parisian waiter.
6. Let’s Take A Moment To Savor Cameron’s Tennis Look
Velour. Cyan. Short sleeved hoodie. It’s like Paris Hilton and the Pussycat Dolls’ style had a love child.
7. But Don’t Worry, Alex Also Looks ‘00s Sharp
The low slung belt, the dress/jeans combo. It’s all very Jennifer Lopez at the Teen Choice Awards.
8. This Close-Up Is All Of Your Fave '00s Accessories
Lip gloss and pastel eyeshadow? Check. Silver moon necklace and flower earrings that don’t go together? Sure, why not. Don’t pretend this wasn’t you, too.
9. Meanwhile, It’s Important That You Know That Cameron Is Basically Cher Horowitz
Stay tuned: more evidence to follow.
10. Like, She Has A Shopping Addiction And A Best Friend Who Never Knowingly Under-Accessorizes
This lime jacket is the '00s equivalent of Dionne's cat-in-a-hat moment in Clueless.
11. Alex And Cameron’s Protector Has That Dido Haircut
Layered bob for the flicked up ends for the win — it's just like that haircut Dido rocked in Eminem's “Stan” music video.
12. Pre-Recession Hiring Policies
You have absolutely no experience? No résumé? Whatever, we’re desperate, you’ve got the job.
13. But Not Totally, Because Then This Witch/Employee Delivers The Following Sick Burn
“Honesty? Impressive. Unfortunately it’s valued everywhere but in fashion and sales.”
14. Finally, Our Two Twins Meet Each Other
I love everything about these shots.
15. The Twins’ Biological Mom: “If There’s Anything I Know, It’s That Love’s Infinite. You Can Always Make More When You Need It.”
WHO TALKS LIKE THIS?
16. Meanwhile, Cameron And Alex Discover One Cool Trick
When they touch they change clothes at will. Perfect for when peeping your sister’s new look has given you a mean case of envy.
17. Didn’t I Tell You Cameron Was Cher Horowitz?
The mansion with the faux ancient Greek columns, the sick sports car. I can no longer confirm with any confidence that we’re not watching a remake of Clueless.
18. Also, This Is Cameron’s Closet
Proof that money doesn’t necessarily equal style: that faux fur pink jacket.
19. This Is The Terrifying Enemy The Girls Will Have To Face
“The darkness.” If you squint at it, kinda looks like mold, though, which is also dangerous.
20. Another Great Screensaver
This is the magical castle where the twins' biological mother lives.
21. This Is Their Mother’s Lover
He has black leather serial killer gloves, which doesn’t seem like a great sign, IMO.
22. Then Biological Mom Is Like, “My Husband, Your Brother”
Oh, snap. Things just got juicy. This dude’s her dead husband’s brother? SO Hamlet-y.
23. Cameron And Alex Start Putting Their Limitless Magical Powers To Seriously Underwhelming Use
Wow, I have the awesome power of the universe at my fingertips. I should definitely just use it to splash coffee in the face of that jerk who’s using his cellphone at an inconsiderate volume while in a café.
24. Or To Turn Sad-Face Pumpkins Into Smiley Pumpkins
25. This One’s Pretty Good Though
When some builders catcall a pair of female joggers, help is at hand.
26. I Don’t Even Know Why Or How Cameron Made This Face
I just know that I love it.
27. Can We Talk For A Second About The Casting For The Adoptive Dad?
Watching this as an adult is giving me confusing feelings I didn’t have as a young adult. Why does the dad have the absolute opposite of a dad bod? Am I meant to be crushing on Cameron’s adoptive father?
28. “Why Does Everyone Keep Calling Me A Princess?”
“I dunno, maybe ‘cause you’re dressed like one?” Ha, nice one, nameless best friend. I love this girl. Check out her Mean Girls Halloween party vibes. Disney, I want a spin-off movie purely focused on this heroine.
29. The BFF Is So Selfless: She Even Sets Up Cameron With A Zorro Knock-Off At Cameron's Birthday Party
But it’s weird, because Cameron’s acting like she’s never met him before. Sure, great, but what’s he doing at your ultra-exclusive, closely-guarded birthday party if that’s the case?
30. Alex Meeting Her Biological Mom Is Giving Me All The Feels
Don't lie, it's touching.
31. Meanwhile, Cameron Has The Best Birthday Cake You’ve Ever Seen
And there was me thinking candy corn yogurt “cake” was my go-to for my next birthday.
32. Alex’s BFF Has Found Her Way To Cameron’s Birthday Party And This Makes No Sense
I know we don’t watch these movies for their gritty realism, but come on: At no point has Cameron mentioned her address to Alex or in front of Alex’s best friend. So how did Alex’s best friend find her way to Cameron’s house? Um.
33. If You Still Weren’t Sure If Biological Mom’s New Squeeze Was Evil Incarnate, Well, He Is
Proof. He’s the face of The Darkness that Cameron drew as a child.
34. Confronting Evil Can Only Be Done Via Some Serious High School Level Sass
They do the “whatever, loser” sign thing that used to destroy people back in those days in the cafeteria.
Let's not secure him with handcuffs, because that’s too masculine. Let’s wrap him to a chair with silk scarves. He’ll never escape!
36. So, He Escapes
Via morphing into smoke in the shape of human hands. Whatever works, I guess.
37. “The Opposite Of Darkness Isn’t Light. It’s Love!”
This movie is killing me.
38. Pop Quiz: Why Is This Movie Called Twitches?
Altogether now: “We’re teen witches. Twitches! Go twitches, go twitches!”
39. Awkward Screencap For The Credits
The screencap the world will remember this movie for.
Whether you're into this movie for the incomparable Mowry twins, the adoptive father's muscular forearms, or the sheer overwhelming amount of pastels, you've got to admit: it's long overdue a rewatch. Given the creepy themes and even creepier clothing, it's the perfect scary movie for Halloween.
Images: Disney (47)