19 Hillary Clinton Jokes From The Al Smith Dinner That Had Even Donald Trump Laughing
Thursday was the annual Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation Dinner, a fundraiser for Catholic charities supporting children in need. A slew of famous people attended and gave speeches, including Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton, who spoke at the Al Smith Dinner.
Clinton and Trump didn't even seem to greet each other as they arrived at the Waldorf-Astoria in New York, where the white-tie event took place. Someone decided that seating the two one seat apart was a good idea. Whoever it was probably figured they would behave themselves since Cardinal Timothy Dolan, the archbishop of New York, was the one seated between them.
Frankly, I feel bad for Dolan, considering the barbs Trump and Clinton traded in their comedic speeches later on. It had to be a bit uncomfortable sitting between two people who are facing off in the biggest competition in the country right now.
Trump spoke first, starting out with some jokes. But when he stopped joking and began attacking Clinton in earnest, people actually booed him. “I don’t know who they’re angry at, Hillary, you or I,” Trump said in response. But it looked like Trump was the one being heckled from the footage.
Clinton's speech, however, seemed to be better received by the audience. Here are some of her best moments from the dinner:
1. Clinton's Full Schedule
"This is such a special event that I took a break from my rigorous nap schedule to be here."
2. The Great Stained Glass Ceiling
"I think the cardinal is saying I’m not eligible for sainthood. But getting through these three debates with Donald has to count as a miracle. So I guess, I’m up against the highest hardest, stained glass ceiling."
3. The Basket Of Adorables
"Now I’ve got to say there are a lot of friendly faces in this room, people that I’ve been privileged to know and to work with. I just want to put you all in a basket of adorables."
4. Clinton On Fashion
"You look so good in your tuxes, or as I refer to them, formal pantsuits."
5. Clinton On Interruptions
“And because this is a friendly dinner for such a great cause, Donald, if at any time you don’t like what I’m saying, feel free to stand up and shout ‘Wrong!’ while I’m talking."
6. The Peaceful Transition Of Power
“You know, come to think of it, it’s amazing I’m up here after Donald. I didn’t think he’d be OK with a peaceful transition of power."
7. Clinton On Mike Pence
“And, Donald, after listening to your speech, I will also enjoy listening to Mike Pence deny that you ever gave it."
8. Clinton On Rigging
“But remember, if you’re not happy with the way it comes out, it must be rigged."
9. Rating The Statue Of Liberty
“People look at the Statute of Liberty and they see a proud symbol of our history as a nation of immigrants, a beacon of hope for people around the world. Donald looks at the Statue of Liberty and sees a 4. Maybe a 5 if she loses the torch and tablet and changes her hair."
10. The Life Of The Party
“People say, and I hear them, I know, they say I’m boring compared to Donald. But I’m not boring at all. In fact, I’m the life of every party I attend, and I’ve been to three."
11. Clinton On Rudy Giuliani
“We have… so many other wonderful elected officials. And we have Rudy Giuliani. Now, many don’t know this, but Rudy actually got his start as a prosecutor going after wealthy New Yorkers who avoided paying taxes. But as the saying goes, if you can’t beat ‘em, go on Fox News and call ‘em a genius."
12. Clinton On "Performance Enhancers"
“Donald wanted me drug-tested before last night’s debate. And look, I gotta tell you I am so flattered that Donald thought I used some sort of performance enhancer. Now actually I did. It’s called preparation."
13. Clinton Proves Her Stamina
“And looking back, I’ve had to listen to Donald for three full debates. And he says I don’t have any stamina. That is four and a half hours. I have now stood next to Donald Trump longer than any of his campaign managers."
14. The Historic Election
“And whoever wins this election, the outcome will be historic. We’ll either have the first female president, or the first president who started a Twitter war with Cher.”
15. Clinton On Health
“Speaking of health, Donald has been very concerned about mine. Very concerned. He actually sent a car to bring me here tonight — actually it was a hearse."
16. Clinton On Health Pt. 2
“Donald really is as healthy as a horse — you know the one Vladimir Putin rides around on."
17. Clinton And Trump Have Something In Common
“Donald, we have so much more in common than actually you may realize. For example, I’ve tried to inspire young people by showing them that with resilience and hard work anything is possible, and you’re doing the same. A third grade teacher told me that one of her students refused to turn in his homework because it was ‘under audit.’"
18. Hillary On Unity
“Let’s come together, remember what unites us, and just rip on Ted Cruz."
19. Hillary On WikiLeaks
“I hope you enjoyed my remarks tonight. I said no to some jokes that I thought were over the line. But I suppose you can judge for yourself on WikiLeaks in the next few days."
Hillary was bringing it with the jokes tonight. Hopefully she'll continue to bring out her comedic side in future speeches. And for most of her jokes, she even had Trump laughing.