The "SKUNKLOCK" Bike Lock Will Make Thieves Vomit If They Try To Steal Your Bike — But This Kind Of Revenge Is Actually Super Dangerous
For anyone who is a seeker of sweet, sweet vengeance, consider this a PSA: Vengeance is about to get a WHOLE lot grosser, thanks to this bike lock that makes thieves vomit if they try to take if off your bike. The "SKUNKLOCK" is loaded with a chemical deterrent spray called "POWER PUNCH," which makes people — you guessed it — upchuck that burrito they had for lunch all over the pavement and run for the hills. Of course, the "POWER PUNCH" is only released if someone tries to tamper with said lock to steal your beloved bike, so really, they can't be that mad about it. People do way worse to thieves on Game of Thrones, yo.
As the makers of SKUNKLOCK point out, it would serve to put an end to the 1.5 million bikes stolen each year. They also point out that of all the thefts, bikes are the most bang for a thief's buck: They break the lock with a blowtorch or a crowbar, take the bike, and they're off scot-free without a trace. Even the sturdiest, most expensive bike locks can be pried apart by a thief with enough determination — but determination's not worth much if you're doubled over on the sidewalk, puking your guts out.
Still, this kind of innovation shouldn't be taken too lightly— there are a ton of risk factors involved that I'd consider as a consumer before investing in it.
I'm sure by now you're wondering: Exactly how legal is this? According to the makers of SKUNKLOCK, each state has different regulations on the type of products that can be shipped, but they are "conducting additional risk assessments to ensure your SKUNKLOCK is compliant upon shipment." I personally am less concerned about this as I am with bystanders potentially also inhaling the vomit elixir when a thief blows it straight to hell. Like, yeah, we're assuming the thief wouldn't be stealing in plain view of a bunch of people, but you'd also assume people weren't #rude enough to steal a bike in the first place. And seeing as this thing has a 10-foot firing range, someone could easily get caught in the crossfire. Also, the company says themselves that some thieves use blow torches to break into bike locks — WTF happens when you introduce a blow torch to a bunch of pressurized noxious chemicals? Smells like a whole lot of bad news to me, personally.
There's also the fact of your bike smelling like the pits after someone tries to bust into it and immediately runs away, but I suppose your bike smelling like it's been dragged out of a crypt is preferable to losing all the money you spent on your bike — particularly if it's a fancy-pants one.
In any case, the bike locks are available for $109 with an Early Bird special on IndieGoGo, if you are so inclined. Just remember — with greatly potent bike locks comes great responsibility.