It's almost time for one of Bravo's crown jewels to return to air. That's right: The premiere of Real Housewives of Atlanta Season 9 is just around the corner. Ahead of the season premiere on Nov. 6, Bravo has released this season's intro clip, which features the new taglines for the Atlanta Housewives, and boy, they're a doozy.
It's well-known that the taglines for each iteration of the Real Housewives are a perfect blend of iconic, cheesy, and life-giving. Better still, hearing the way they are delivered to the audience as a sort of expositional tone-setting statement adds a little something extra to the uniquely special experience that is watching an episode of Real Housewives.
What new information can we glean from these newly refurbished Atlanta taglines? Who is most likely to raise a little hell and who will be keeping a low profile? And, most important, who is included as a Housewife this time around? With the ninth season featuring a new line-up once again, the taglines for this season had to be on point. While we still don't know whether or not any of these Housewives wrote their own taglines this year, what matters is that they are literally amazing.
Phaedra Parks: "You Can’t Always Get What You Want, But I Can."
It sounds like Parks will be firmly moving past the Season 8 arc involving her divorce from husband, Apollo Nida, instead moving onwards and upwards in some major ways. Is Parks set to actually dominate the season with her renewed lease on life?
Porsha Williams: "I’m Too Blessed To Be Stressed And Too Sexy To Be Thirsty."
Williams definitely rode the rollercoaster of love in Season 8. (Remember that party she threw to introduce her boyfriend to her family?) From the sound of her tagline, she'll be poised to do the single life some justice and will try to stay away from any and all drama. That may not work out though, if the Season 9 trailer is any sort of metric.
Cynthia Bailey: "Life Is A Runway, And Cynthia Bailey Is Ready To Walk It Alone."
It sounds like Bailey's Season 9 run will be focused on her carving out life as an single woman and powerful entrepreneur. Last season, a large part of Bailey's storyline was focused on the stormy relationship with her now ex, Peter Thomas.
Kandi Burruss: "Now That I've Got My Ace, I Have A Full House."
Now that she's had her youngest son, Ace, it looks like Burruss will be juggling a lot more than petty drama in Season 9. But will she be totally focused on her family or will she also combat those mysterious rumors about her sexuality that were shown in the new season's trailer?
Kenya Moore: "I Give The People What They Want, And They Always Want More."
I can't even handle Moore's tagline. Not only does she have a little play on her surname, but you can practically hear the mischief in her voice. Something tells me that she will be stirring the shade pot with a big wooden spoon made out of drama in the upcoming season. Isn't that what the people want, though?
Shereé Whitfield: "Don’t Call It A Comeback. Call It A Takeover!"
OK, but would you expect any less from Whitfield? This is a powerful statement. Something tells me that with NeNe Leakes out of the picture, Whitfield will be asserting herself as the baddest Housewife in Atlanta.
I have no idea what to expect from the newest season of Real Housewives of Atlanta. If the taglines are to be believed, it's going to be delightfully ridiculous.
Images: Giphy (6)