When we talk about Gilmore Girls — and here at Bustle we do talk a lot about Gilmore Girls — we usually keep one Gilmore out of the narrative. Truth is, Emily Gilmore is a Gilmore Girl through and through, too, and we never get the chance to celebrate it. And that makes sense, given that the show is anchored by Lorelai, who thinks her mother has all the love and tenderness of a Sith Lord. But, while the eldest Gilmore is a fearsome force to behold, Emily is secretly one of the delightful characters on Gilmore Girls.
OK, “delightful” is a loose word here that should probably also encompass other qualities like strong, sassy, randomly understanding, et al. Essentially, Emily is a strait-laced society mom, who has an endless closet of skirt suits and lots of resentment towards her rebellious daughter. Nobody’s denying that. But the moments when she unbuttons the top hole on that suit, whether it’s with a dry remark or a hilarious dance, need to be recognized. So, today, I'm raising a big old coffee mug to her.
Before you get to pull up at chair at Friday night dinners with the Gilmore Girls revival, breeze through some of these memorable Emily moments.
1. When She Made Her Debut Throwing Shade At Her Daughter
"Lorelai, my goodness. This is a surprise. Is it Easter already?" Richard makes a similar stab with Christmas, because #powercouple.
2. When She Instituted The Friday Night Dinners, Stonefaced
The calmness with which she makes this request is otherworldly.
3. When She Manifested At Chilton To Put In A Good Word For Rory
Nothing crazy about that.
4. When She Forced Richard To Go Golfing With Rory
"Richard, so help me God, you will be sweet to this girl and make this a memorable day for her," she says, incidentally fostering a beautiful bond between the Gilmore patriarch and his granddaughter.
5. When She Joked About Hanging With Nazis To Freak Lorelai Out
"We stayed with him once in Munich. Nice old man. Interesting stories." And Lorelai bought it.
6. When She Popped Up In Stars Hollow To See Rory Before The School Dance
And was ready with a camera.
7. And Then Took Care Of Lorelai All Night After She Threw Out Her Back
Emily made her a mashed banana on toast like she did when Lorelai was younger, and it was both adorable and revolting.
8. When She Served Chocolate Pudding In A Crystal Bowl
All because Rory loved pudding.
9. When Richard Was Talking About Dying And She Demanded To Go First
I just... I'm sorry, I can't emotionally deal with this one right now.
10. When She Comforted Rory After Straub Hayden Freaked Out On Lorelai
"Rory, I know you heard a lot of talk about various disappointments this evening, and I know you’ve heard a lot of talk about it in the past," She says. "But I want to make this very clear: you, young lady, your person and your existence have never ever been, not even for a second, included in that list." D'awww.
11. When She Designed A Bedroom For Rory
With *NSYNC posters.
12. When She Was Going To Have Homemade Twinkies For Dessert Because They Were Rory's Favorite
It doesn't really pan out, but the thought is there.
13. When She Was Surprisingly Chill About Rory Dating Dean, Compared To Richard's Full-Scale Meltdown
"You truly think a 16-year-old girl isn't going to date?" Seriously, Richard, take it down a notch.
14. When She Found Out Lorelai Was Getting Married And Suggested She Should Wear A Tiara
That's what Emily did, after all.
15. When She Downed Manhattans At A Drag Show And Told Stories About Being Young And In Love With Richard
The perfect mixture of sentimental and badass.
16. When This Cute Dance Happened To "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"
There's no question that Emily was having fun at that particular fashion show.
17. When She Commissioned This Rory Painting, Because OMG
Did she just hire some rando off DeviantArt to do it?
18. When She Called A Meeting To Discuss Who's Getting Kicked Out Of The Family Mausoleum
The consensus was that Aunt Cecile and her awful knock-knock jokes should get voted off the island.
19. When She Went Out Of Her Way To Bond With Lorelai During A Spa Retreat
They even ate dinner at a bar, like normals.
20. When We Flashed Back To The '80s And She Defended Teen Pregnant Lorelai Against The Haydens
Straub is all "Christopher can't handle this, he's just a child," and Emily's like, "Omfg, Straub, it's not like Lorelai is collecting social security."
21. When She Kept Nothing But A Chipper Demeanor And A Cool Head In The Face Of Jess' Rudeness
She even asked politely about his job at the "Walmart Corporation."
22. When She Had A Heart-To-Heart With Trix After Humiliating Her At Dinner
Emily puts up with a lot of the OG Lorelai's hatred, so we're proud to see her be real with her, trying to apologize, but also asserting that she deserve respect.
23. When She And Richard Found Out Rory Was Going To Yale, And This Happened
24. When She Set Rory Up With An Entertainment Center In Her Dorm Room
You guys, it's a plasma TV with a VCR and DVD player.
25. When The Family Went Yale Tailgating And Emily Forced Lorelai To Wear Her Jacket
And then they all took shots together at 9 A.M., and it was the perfect family moment.
26. When Richard Yelled At Trix For Calling Him A Financial Failure And She Made This Face
It's like Emily was waiting for that day her entire life.
27. And Then When She Was Boozing And Smoking In The Middle Of The Day After Finding Out Trix Wrote A Letter Begging Richard To Not Marry Emily
In a kimono, because what else would one do in that situation?
28. When Richard Said Only Prostitutes Have Two Glasses Of Wine At Lunch And She Responded Thusly:
"Well, then buy me a boa and drive me to Reno, because I am open for business!"
29. When She Allowed Rory To Explore The Cultural Weirdness Of Paris Without Her
"Go enjoy your funk" is the exact wording used. Bless.
30. When She Flipped Because Richard Owned A Glitter Vest
I mean, obviously, look at it.
31. When She Gilmored Luke
I mean, I am always pro-Luke, now and forever, and normally I wouldn't want to wish this passive-aggressive treatment on him, but you have to admire how she excels at being adorably condescending. Like, it's an art form.
32. When She Loaded Rory Up With Boatloads Of Diamonds
Like, even Elizabeth Taylor thought it was a bit much.
33. When A Trillion Wedding Dresses And An Eccentric Celebrity Stylist Magically Appeared In Her Room
Just in case you weren't sure if Emily was fabulous or not.
34. When She Fixes Things Between Luke And Lorelai, Telling Him He's The One Lorelai Wants
It's a mess Emily created in the first place, but whatever.
35. When She Epically Throws Down Shira Huntzberger
Transcribed, for posterity:
"You were a two-bit gold digger, fresh off the bus from Hicksville when you met Mitchum at whatever bar you happened to stumble into. And what made Mitchum decide to choose you to marry amongst the pack of women he was bedding at the time, I'll never know. But hats off to you for bagging him. He's still a playboy, you know? Well, of course you know. That would explain why your weight goes up and down 30 pounds every other month. But that's your cross to bear. But these are ugly realities. No one needs to talk about them. Those kids are staying together for as long as they like. You won't stop them. Now, enjoy the event."
36. When She Was Moved Lorelai Wanted To Continue Hanging Out With Her Recreationally, But Threw In A Jab About Not Wearing Jeans To Dinner
Because you have to stay true to your brand.
37. And When She Told Rory It Was An Honor To Be Her Grandmother
Oh, that Emily. Such a softie at heart.
Let's hear it for Emily Gilmore, you guys. She is truly a gift.
Images: CW/Netflix (38)