News

Some Nasty Chickens Visited Us Today

by Alyssa Briddes

On this important day in history, the bird is the word as voters flock to the polls. That includes the 'wing voters here at Bustle HQ, where we had a roost of Nasty Chicks flying in to peck the president. Lines were long as voters chirped excitedly, intent to cast their ballots before things fly south.

"Cheep cheep ... [cheep's] cheep cheep," one voter says. She continues, "Cheep, cheep, cheep cheep." Birds of a feather, her fellow voters shared her sentiments, and tweeted their excitement about the impending election.

It appeared that some of the voters had taken to displaying their opinion by performing their civic "duty" near one of the presidential choices. I suppose we know where this nasty chick stood, and it was with her (#ImWithBird).

(Also, Donald Trump supporters were hooting and hollering that our polls may be rigged, accusing Bustle of "fowl play" with a disproportionate amount a feed in the Democratic poll bowl. Bustle has reached out for comment.)

Alexi McCammond, Bustle's associate news editor, says, "Trump is just being cocky when he says that the polls are rigged, but really, at Bustle HQ, we're just tired of hearing his squawking. We all know Trump tries to ruffle voters' feathers whenever he talks about the polls, so instead of further egging him on, we're going to hatch a plan with our Nasty Chicks to continue smashing the patriarchy. "

Things were undoubtably heated at Bustle HQ. Several of the chicks had even flown the coop. Many of the other voters clucked with disapproval at these citizens' apparent voter apathy.

Though a bulk of the voters were frustrated by Trump's poultry political tactics, our birds found this vulture to be their next President.

Hillary's goose was cooked in our election at Bustle, but we do not like to count our chickens before they hatch.

So: Don't be a birdbrain, make sure you get out and vote.