This New Selfie App Will Ruin Your Day

Ladies and gentlemen, now presenting the worst thing to happen to selfies since Selfies With Homeless People — and, no, unfortunately this is not an April Fool’s prank: Skineepix, an app that will shave five to 15 pounds off of selfies to which it’s applied. Welp, so much for body positivity.

The creation of Susan Green and Robin J. Phillips, Skineepix was created following a vacation the two women took with their friends last summer. Lots of selfies were snapped during during the trip — but no one was terribly happy with how the shots turned out. “It’s not that they hated their body,” Green told the L.A. Times, “they just didn’t like how they looked in the picture.” So when they got home, Green and Phillips formed a company they’re calling Pretty Smart Women and got to work on an app that would allow its users to easily doctor their photos by removing any unwanted weight. They capped it at 15 pounds due to the old adage, “The camera always adds 10 to 15 pounds.”

Green herself is using the app as motivation to get in shape; as she told the Times, “It’s not that I don’t like how I look, I just need to be healthy.” But I can’t help but think that all these “It’s not this… I/they/we just this” statements smack of the justifications people make for off-color remarks: “I’m not sexist, but…” “I’m not racist, but…” “I’m not homophobic, but…” In this case, it’s “I’m not fat-shaming, but…”

Because all Skineepix is doing is further emphasizing the impossible standards of beauty we’re confronted with every day, which — let’s face it — isn’t going to help anyone do anything but feel awful about themselves. Not cool, guys. And to push a product that only forces users to follow in Kim Kardashian's footsteps? Really, really not cool, guys.

Right now the app is just for iPhone, but Android users won’t be safe for long — Green and Phillips are currently working on a version for the Google Play store. Siiiiiiiiiiiiiigh...