Here’s A Surprising ‘Pump Rules’ Twist

Well, if this isn't quite the SURprise: In a recent interview with Bravo's The Daily Dish, Kristen Doute said Tom Schwartz is the hardest Vanderpump Rules co-star to shop for. Who saw that one coming? Not me, that's for sure. As far as shocking Vanderpump Rules reveals go, this is probably up there with that one time Doute admitted to Stassi Schroeder that she hooked up with Jax Taylor. Now, I don't know who I expected her to name, but easy-breezy Schwartzy would've been my last guess. (OK, you caught me. I thought she was going to say Taylor. No offense to Jaxy Poo or anything, I just wouldn't know where to begin. I'd probably panic and go with the obvious choice: a chunky knit sweater. And then I would panic about whether or not a guy can have too many chunky knit sweaters. What if this is one chunky knit sweater too many?) Mr. Bubba is just so... chill. And therein lies the issue, apparently.

Doute told The Daily Dish:

"I think Schwartz is probably the hardest, because I know that whenever Schwartz's birthday rolls around, it's like, do I look on eBay for Ninja Turtle things? Do I buy him another air plant? Sweatpants, perhaps? What do you get Schwartz? Do I go to the airport and get a free Bank of America T-shirt? That's all Schwartz.”

She continued, “In one sense, he's very simple and easy, but at the same time, you can't really shop for Schwartz. He'll be appreciative no matter what, but he just likes all the basic b*tch things in life."

Kidding or not, I gotta hand it to Doute — she had four thoughtful gift ideas on deck. Meanwhile, I pat myself on the back anytime I come up with one semi-decent present for someone. Some people are just good at the gift thing (Doute), others could use some help (me). Also? Now I can't stop picturing Schwartz walking away from his own birthday party with a pile of brand new sweatpants. Two armfuls of fresh sweats, ready to take on the next year. What a dream b-day haul situation.