Oh No: 'Married at First Sight' is a Real Show

Chalk this one up to totally great life decisions that are not at all exploitative and just terrible (ahyuck). A+E Networks has ordered Married at First Sight , an adaptation of a popular Danish television show that they're touting as an "extreme social experiment series," to which we say, "Yeah, no shit!" I'm sure this one will sit well with everyone.

The series will center on six "brave" (we prefer absurd idiots, but hey — to each their own I guess, ugh) folks so committed to the idea of wedded bliss that they're willing to legally marry a person at the very moment they first meet. Aww GEE HOW CA-YUTE. And though there is no home network for the series yet — A+E Networks owns A&E, The History Channel, Biography, and all those Lifetime channels, too — they're so enamored with the idea and convinced that it will cut through an already over-saturated unscripted market, that production is set to begin immediately. There will be 10 one-hour episodes (because marriage is very important but not that important), set to air in late 2014.

But it isn't just the blind leading the blind here, apparently there will be four specialists on hand, tasked to create "three perfect couples" based on "scientific matchmaking" (whatever the fuck that means). And after their three-second nuptials, the show will follow each couple as they go through the motions of typical newlywedded bliss like the honeymoon, nesting, and what I'm sure are going to be super-feminist, empowering affairs. Couples who don't love each other — although how in the world that would be possible, amirite?! — will be able to decide after several weeks whether or not they want to stay together or get a divorce.

What a way to celebrate marriage, eh?! SANCTITY BE DAMNED!