11 Disgusting Jelly Bean Flavors You Won't Believe Exist

My entire perception of jellybeans changed once I was introduced to Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans in Harry Potter. "How disgusting!" I thought, "Jelly beans are already gross, why do they need to be grosser?"

Then, after thinking about how fun it could be to trick my brother into eating a dirt-flavored candy, I got on board with Rowling's idea. This year, my inner prankster was elated to discover that gross jelly beans, like the earwax flavor Dumbledore ate, do exist in reality. And they are as disgusting as you would expect. Here are the 11 gross jelly bean flavors to pray you won't find in your Easter basket.

dirt

I could maybe get on board with a “fresh grass” flavor or an “ice cream you dropped on the concrete” flavor, but a dirt-flavored jelly bean, from Harry Potter™ Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans from Jelly Belly collection? Ew.

earthworm

Another gem from the Harry Potter collection is earthworm. I assume this flavor exists in case you have a bird you want to feed candy this Easter.

baby wipes

Finally, a jelly bean flavor that will remind you of butts! This flavor comes from the BeanBoozled line from Jelly Belly and you can pick up some real ones up at your local drug store.

soap

Unfortunately this soap flavor from the same Harry Potter collection does not excuse you from washing your hands.

rotten egg

Put this on your “Avoid like the plague” list: the rotten egg flavor from the Harry Potter collection.

sausage

If you are craving some meat but are temporarily vegetarian or broke, try using this sausage flavor from the Harry Potter collection as a substitute. Let me know how it goes!

moldy cheese

Mmmmm there is nothing like munching on a handful of jelly beans flavored like moldy cheese. You can get this delicious treat in the Jelly Belly’s BeanBoozled line.

toothpaste

Trick your date and your dentist into thinking you brush your teeth way more than you do with this toothpaste flavor from the BeanBoozled line from Jelly Belly.

(Or pick up some real toothpaste.)

canned dog food

Maybe your puppy will like these canned dog food jelly beans from the BeanBoozled line from Jelly Belly. Probably not though.

black pepper

Obviously you can only truly enjoy this black pepper flavor from the Harry Potter collection if you have its salt-flavored counterpart, which, to my knowledge, doesn’t exist yet.

tabasco

This flavor doesn’t even come from one of the prank collections. I accidentally purchased a bag of these thinking they were cinnamon. Big mistake.

Tabasco Jelly Belly, $5.50, amazon.com