Why His Name Could Be a Red Flag

Liams of the world are sleeping on the couch. Yes, apparently, according to a study based on next-to-nothing, the Liams of the world are more likely to cheat on their poor, unsuspecting girlfriends. (Presumably named Liama?) As Bustle reported earlier this week, this is based on scientific fact.

As reported by the Daily Mail, the study examined 2,000 women and their experiences with cheaters in conjunction with men’s names. Joining Liam in the top five are Wayne, Ryan, Matt, and Craig; other highly ranked names include Ashley (number 12) and Harry (number 11), both of which incidentally happen to be the names of popular boy band members of the past and present. Hmmm.

We here at Bustle decided to conduct a little 'scientific' study of our own, based on pure anecdotal email chain and personal vendetta, of course. Here, based on our poor ex-boyfriends, is a list of guys you should watch out for. This is 100 percent accurate, so don't say we didn't warn you.

Jim: Most likely to wear Ugg boots and later turn out to be gay.

Paul: Most likely to suppress every feeling he's ever had.

Hayden: Most likely to become an "indie film director," and yes, you should use air quotes when you say that.

Kyle: Most likely to prefer to talk about himself.

Jeremy: Most likely to text you things like "vampire me!!!" in the middle of the night, without context.

Quinn: Most likely to wear oversized glasses with his undersized flannel.

John: Most likely to be just as boring as his name in bed ... but think he's a stud in the sack.

Christoffer: Most likely to be just as pretentious as the pretentious spelling of his name.

Stuart: Most likely to randomly decide to move to Canada for no particular reason.

Warren: Most likely to be mostly bald before he's 35 ... and venture into hair transplant territory by the time he's 36.

Anthony: Most likely to play video games instead of having sex.

Unless you're this guy.

Owen: Most likely to give you a homemade hemp necklace with a seaglass charm for your 21st birthday.

Ethan: Most likely to become polyamorous after you break up.

Adam: Most likely to be the first person you know to get married.

Jamie: Most likely to join a website called "Toyboy Playhouse."

Ryan: Most likely to get a job right after you break up with him.

Alex: Most likely to convince you to get back together.

Worth it.

Well, Liam, we hope you feel better now.