You can forget the Game of Thrones' Purple Wedding; forget the incredibly somber and sobering Mad Men premiere; forget Zefron being stripped shirtless by Rita Ora at the MTV Movie Awards (okay, don't forget that last one, because it will light your way through the darkest of times). There's really only one thing you needed to see from this weekend: Leonardo Dicaprio's glorious dad-dance at Coachella, perfectly complete with baggy shorts, innocuous T-shirt (looks like, dare I say, a Costo purchase?), and that wonderfully boring blue cap. Normcore, bow down to your new king.
There’s speculation on if it was or wasn’t Dicaprio, but whether or not it was actually Leo is irrelevant, because in our heart of hearts, we know it was our never-crowned Oscar Prince, our Wolf of Wall Street, our Jack Dawson spinning with Rose so carefree in the steerage of the Titanic. In a vacuum, sure, Leo is the only Dancing Star we need. But how would Leo's moves fare up against some other notorious movers and shakers? Let’s take a look—It's a Leo VS. the world DANCE-OFF.
But first, another look at our Tiny Dancer in the Instagram video we’re all forever indebted to:
Leo versus Jimmy Fallon and Will Smith
Fallon and Smith have the team-advantage, and can definitely do more together than Leo could alone. Plus, overalls. But I still think Leo's crescendo from hip-shaking to martial-arts freestyle gives him the win in this contest.
Leo versus Ferris Bueller
This one feels a little cruel, like making two really nice dads compete in a three-legged race. We love Ferris Bueller, we love a young Matthew Broderick, we love those flailing limbs and that horrible Tommy Bahama shirt, so unfortunately, it looks like this one is a loss for Leo.
Leo versus the Magic Mike men
MAGIC MIKE DUDES, ALL THE WAY. Sorry Leo, but you didn't take your shirt off. Also, if you've seen Magic Mike (why haven't you seen it yet?!), you know that these dudes can actually, like, really dance. Like neck-snapping break dance. Not even Dad Leo can compete.
Leo versus Taylor Swift at the Grammys
The awkwardness factor of Taylor Swift jammin' (the only appropriate description) to Kendrick Lamar and Imagine Dragons at the Grammys might actually give her an edge here over Leo's Coachella moves. She's just trying really hard, you know? And she's really just having a good time.
Leo versus Lydia Deetz
Sweet Winona Ryder floating by the stairs dancing with ghosts definitely beats Leo here, but perhaps only for the anti-gravity factor, and her team of football player ghost backup dancers.
Leo versus Leo
It seems like Leo's Coachella jig was a departure from his more exuberant moves in The Wolf of Wall Street. So which is better—his casual-to-frenetic music festival dance, or his drug-fueled, tuxedo'ed financier moves? Let's be real, we like to see Leo cut loose in the desert with a bunch of a young strangers, so we're giving it to dad-cap Leo here.