Before 'Orphan Black' Season 2 Premieres, Learn What Your Favorite Clone Says About You
One of my favorite parts about spring? All of my favorite shows come back. And I mean all of them. Between Game of Thrones and Orphan Black, which returns to BBC America this Saturday, I’m set for the next couple of months when it comes super intense and astonishingly well-made television.
There’s no doubt that the sci-fi drama Orphan Black wouldn’t work nearly as well as it does without the talents of Canadian actress Tatiana Maslany; her chameleon-like abilities allow her to portray countless characters, all so wonderfully distinct from each other that it’s hard to be believe they’re all played by the same person. I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to see what new Orphan Black characters the show has in store for us this season.
Anyway, in honor of the second season premiere, let’s play a little game, shall we? Pick your favorite Orphan Black clone, and we’ll tell you what your choice says about you.
If You Like Alison Hendrix…
Are you a soccer mom? You’re a soccer mom, aren’t you? You’re orderly, organized, and you love routine. People may say that you’ve got a stick up a certain piece of your anatomy, but really, you just strongly believe in the saying, “a place for everything and everything in its place.” You don’t like surprises and have a habit of becoming just a tiny bit unhinged when something unexpected; sometimes, though, your instincts are spot on, even if you initially overreact (although you might want to work on not letting your paranoia get the better of you). You’re often underestimated due to your white bread appearance, but you have hidden depths. You’re more than capable of protecting yourself, and you’re fiercely protective of your family.
You probably dance like crazy to Britney Spears when no one is watching, but you would never admit it to anyone. Even if they catch you at. Especially if they catch you at it. Your hair is always perfect, and your favorite items of clothing are your many, many headbands. As far as you’re concerned, a girl can never have too many headbands.
You secretly long to be a musical theatre star on Broadway.
If You Like Cosima Niehaus…
You’re smart. Like, really smart. Unspeakably intelligent. Possibly a genius, even. You have a thirst for knowledge, and you enjoy the search for it as much as you do knowing the answers themselves. You may sometimes be guilty of Marlovian overreaching, but you usually manage to catch yourself before it gets too bad. Usually.
Your positivity is as much of an asset as your intelligence; you’re well-liked and friendly, and you have the ability to explain complicated topics in ways that make sense to the non-geniuses of the world. People do sometimes have to remind you to slow down, though — you have a tendency to talk a mile a minute when you’re excited about something.
You fall easily and you love deeply — qualities which can sometimes blind you to the dangers of a situation. Betrayal cuts you like a knife; you’re also capable of forgiveness, though, even when others would lash out instead.
You don’t tend to follow fashion trends, but you have fun with your appearance. You’re not afraid to take a few risks — both in the lab and in your wardrobe.
Your idea of a good beach read is James Joyce. Your friends do not understand this.
If You Like Beth Childs…
One tough cookie: That’s how people describe you. A headstrong woman making her way in a field dominated by men, you mean business — and people know not to mess with you. You can be aggressive and impulsive, but you’re also smart and able to make tough calls in tense situations.
You curse like a sailor and like to call people on their shit. You have no patience for stupidity. Some might call you “suspicious”; you prefer “cautious.” You don’t like going to other people for help when you’re having a tough time, and you probably rely on prescriptions to tackle your symptoms instead of dealing with the root cause.
You’re a fitness nut; in addition to running, you probably kickbox or do tae kwan do or something equally badass. You like to get your aggression out of your system by depositing it in the nearest punching bag.
You won’t admit this to anyone, but your favorite movie is Love Actually. Unfortunately, you’re probably also dead.
If You Like Sarah Manning…
You may not be book smart, but you’ve got street smarts to spare. You may have made your mistakes, but you learn from them; you know that running doesn’t solve problems, and you’re trying to make amends to those you’ve wronged. You’ve been burned in the past and don’t trust others easily; once someone has earned your trust, however, you’re steadfast and loyal. There’s at least one person in your life you would do anything to protect.
Sometimes you think you were born in the wrong decade; you’d rather listen to The Clash than One Direction, and you think that if you’d been around when the punk movement was at its height, you would have been rubbing elbows with Sid Vicious and Joan Jett. You’re a big fan of black eyeliner, and you’d rather wear an artfully distressed leather jacket than a carefully tailored blazer.
You’re really good at mimicking accents other than your own, and you can read people as easily as Cosima reads complicated scientific papers. You may not look it, but you can be surprisingly funny.
You may not really know how to cook, but who needs a kitchen when you’ve got takeout?
If You Like Helena…
You never do anything by halves — it’s all or nothing with you. You’re also extraordinarily resilient; you’re not at all squeamish and you’ve got a high tolerance for pain. Once something catches your interest, you won’t stop until you’ve learned everything there is to know about it — whether it’s a subject in school or your next door neighbor. People are wary of you, due to your unpredictability; you don’t really care, though. You’ve got your mission and you’re sticking to it.
You believe in a higher power, as well as the fact that all of your actions are geared towards accomplishing something greater than yourself. Although others would probably identify you as chaotic evil, you probably see yourself more as chaotic neutral. You don’t have a problem with turning on people if it suits your purpose.
You don’t really watch TV, but if you did, you’d probably love everything on the History Channel. And My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. Seriously, you’d love it.
Other people sometimes wonder what the world looks like to you, but the idea usually freaks them out too much to want to imagine it for long.
You also have a somewhat unexpected sweet tooth.
If You Like Rachel Duncan…
Are you a good guy? A bad guy? Morally ambiguous? You’re an enigma. You’ve also probably spent an inordinate amount of time on the r/MakeupAddiction subreddit perfecting your power brow.