Channing Tatum's Comments On 'Magic Mike XXL' Will Confuse the Crap Out of You

We're all dying to know what the Magic Mike sequel is going to be about, but it seems like not even Channing Tatum knows what he wants for Magic Mike XXL. The actor recently spoke to MTV about his plans for the movie and everything just sounded really confusing. Here's what Tatum said about the plot and then I'll try my best to break down what I think he means.

"We don't want to make it some serious slice-of-life movie. We want to have real, like reality in it, but we don't want to make like some dark drama. There was some darkness in the last movie and I think it surprised people and shocked people. This one, we want to have a lot of conflict and a lot of struggle, but we also want there to be a sh*t ton of fun. A sh*t ton of ridiculous stuff that you would never see in a movie, on the face of the earth, ever again."

(Full disclosure, I once transcribed an hour-long Channing Tatum interview, so I'm a professional at wading through his ramblings.) So let's see what exactly Tatum is saying here:

HE WANTS THE MOVIE TO BE REAL

Okay, we can get down with that. Movie about real strippers, we're on board.

HE DOESN'T WANT THE MOVIE TO BE SERIOUS OR A DARK DRAMA

Right, we got that when you titled it Magic Mike XXL.

BUT YET HE WANTS IT TO HAVE A LOT OF CONFLICT AND A LOT OF STRUGGLE

Okay... this is where he loses me a little. He wants a lot of struggle and conflict but doesn't want us to take that struggle and conflict seriously? Are we supposed to laugh at the struggles? That seems insensitive.

HE WANTS IT TO BE FUN AS HELL

Maybe we are supposed to laugh at the conflict, because in Tatum's next sentence he describes how fun he wants the film to be. Or as he says, he wants "a sh-- ton of ridiculous stuff that you would never see in a movie, on the face of the earth, ever again."

WAIT...

He wants there to be ridiculous stuff that no one would ever see in a movie or on the entire face of the planet ever again??? Tatum, calm down. You don't have to reach quite so high. We'll settle for, like, just some dancing. You don't have to blow us out of the water. It's a sequel to a movie about strippers.

Okay, so good thing Tatum is writing this script since he seems really sure of what exactly is going into it. (I'm having flashbacks to Sean and Catherine's Bachelor wedding where she kept saying she wanted the theme to be "grown sexy." Like what the eff does that mean?)

But Tatum didn't only talk about the plot, he also talked about who'd be returning for the film. We can rest assured knowing he at least knows that, right?

"I think everyone's gonna be back... I think... obviously nobody's deals are done."

Channing, who put you in charge of this film? He does at least mention that should Matthew Mcconaughey reprise his role as Dallas, we'll get to see a lot of him.

"It's the most Mcconaughey that we've seen in a movie, not just physically... It's just him," Tatum says, finishing out his confusing conversation.

So, while I love Channing Tatum, I am definitely more confused about Magic Mike XXL now than I was before watching his interview. I guess we'll all just have to show up to the theater to see who ends up being in it, and how the plot actually turns out.