'The Big Lebowski' May Get a Spin-Off: 7 Things We Need to See from The Dude's Comeback
The Big Lebowski, the Coen brothers most acclaimed work, is a film as beloved by audiences as it is acclaimed. But as cherished as the film is, a sequel has never come to fruition. But in today's awesome but not entirely likely news, John Turturro said there may be a Big Lebowski spin-off. Granted, he was accosted by a TMZ reporter who called themselves a "big fan," and Turturro's answer seemed a little... guess-y. Regardless, we will cling to this grain of cinematic salt like the pee particles on The Dude's vintage carpet. Too much?
Here's TK things we'd want to see in a Big Lebowski spin-off, whether that may be a sequel film, a television series, or a musical on Broadway.
1. The Original Cast
What would any spin-off be if their roles we-recast, or worse yet, cut? Julianne Moore, Jeff Bridges, John Goodman, John Turturro had better sign on for any sort of Lebowski reboot.
2. Tara Reid as Bunny
While we're at it, let's enlist the... talents... of a young Tara Reid to play Bunny, with her epic lines like "Blow on them..." as she extends her freshly painted toes into The Dude's face, Reid has all the bubbliness needed for the role. Plus, now she has two Sharknado flicks under her belt. If only Philip Seymour Hoffman were still alive to play the awkward Playboy Bunny manager. His lightly gingered hair and uncomfortable laugh worked wonders against Reid's brash requests. R.I.P.
3. Sam Elliott's Guiding Narration
What would the film be without Sam Elliot's iconic deep, buttery croon saying things like, "He's the man for his time and place, he fits right in there, and that's The Dude."
4. The Bowling Alley
What would the BL be without sequences at vintage — albeit campy — bowling alleys? Nothing I tell you, NOTHING! Especially when John Goodman shows up with a "pomeranian" (there's no way in hell that dog is a pomeranian, btw) and a gun in his bowling bag.
5. Gratuitous Slow-motion Sequences of Jesus
Yes, that Jesus. The Jesus with purple shoes, a single black pinky nail, a luxurious braided ponytail and a tongue that caresses even the dirtiest of bowling balls. Jesus, we need more of you, STAT.
6. Los Angeles Stereotypes
There's no where in the world where this spin-off could take place other than L.A. Think about it, it perfectly sets the stage for The Dude's hero's journey, and the bevy of kooky characters he meets along the way could only exist in the City of Angels.
7. Maude's Monologues
Maude may be the only feminist in the film, and her monologue upon first meeting the Dude is both accurate and hysterical. "Vagina," she starts. "Some men find it difficult to say." Then it gets really good: "And without batting an eye, a man will refer to his dick or his rod or his... Johnson." Preach, Maude.