Zac Efron's 'Gorgeous Circumsized Penis', & 11 More Reasons He is a perfect Specimen

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In recent years, Zac Efron has proven himself to not only be a heartthrob for young, musical-loving preteens, but a bonafide, fantasy-inducing, grade A piece o' man meat for those twentysomething viewers. OK, I'm not trying to objectify him entirely, and yes, I did just compare him to a slab of meat — but can you blame me? both women and men alike can't stop singing the praises of Efron's physique, and in a new dual promo for  Workaholics and Efron's latest flick,  Neighbors , the boys of Workaholics exemplify just exactly what it is about Efron that made them swoon: His penis. We're going to have to take their word for it, plus 11 other reasons Efron is the perfect human specimen.

1. His "gorgeous circumcised penis"

The boys of Workaholics used all of the below phrases to describe Zac Jr.

1. "Did Leonardo Da Vinci circumcise you? It's beautiful"

2. "Your balls have a six pack"

3. "Put it away, it's too nice!"

4. "The LeBron James of cocks"

5. "It was big, and it would overshadow us"

6. "Your body is so hard, it's so freaking hard... and then some."

2. His Steel Blue Eyes

Adam DeVine also commented, accurately, on the state of Efron's peepers: "Your eyes are like an ocean and I wanna take a dip."

3. His Inability to Keep a Shirt On

Sunday's MTV Movie Awards incident was like Janet Jackson's Super Bowl wardrobe malfunction but socially acceptable and forever Gif'ed.

Three cheers for Rita Ora!

4. His Ever-Evolving Hair

We loved him as the mop-headed Troy in High School Musical, his buzzcut in The Lucky One, and his updated crew cut in That Awkward Moment.

5. His love of Man (& Woman)'s Best Friend

D'awwww.

6. Everything about his performance in The Paper Boy

Rolling around, tanned and taught, in tighty-whities. What was that movie about again?

7. His Dance Moves

8. The Way He Eats Jell-O

9. He Makes Frat Boys Look Hot and Unsleezy

10. That time he was on Room Raiders

11. He Knows How to Rock a Flannel

And as seen in the Workaholics promo, he knows how to rock out with his — you get it.