Don't Pick The Tulips: 36 Things Only Hofstra University Students Understand
Nestled in the lovely town (read: ghetto) of Hempstead, NY is Hofstra University, Long Island's largest private university. And I'll fill you in on a little secret: Hofstra is just as unique as Long Island itself. (No, really, there are just some things you can only understand if you've been a student here.) As a graduating senior — God, help me — I know I'll miss this place.
Hofstra may be frustrating at times, sure, but would you have it any other way? The campus is GORGEOUS, there's tons to do, and we're perfectly located between the beach and the city. If you went to Hoftsra — or are lucky enough to be there now — you know what I'm talking about. Because there are some things only we can truly understand.
A main reason you chose Hofstra is how beautiful the campus is in the spring
Not many people can say their campus is arboretum.
The student population may have its fair share of guidos and hipsters...
But, really, the campus is pretty diverse
You know Getting stuck behind slow walkers on the unispan is the absolute worst
And you've experienced the frustration that comes from having to explain what a unispan is to non-Hofstra students
The purpose of Hofstra Hall remains a mystery to you
You're annoyed that our claim to fame is now being Bernie Madoff's alma mater
We have plenty of other notable alumni!
You know that Looking for a parking spot can make you at least 20 minutes late to class
And that the parking lot is insane after every snowstorm.
Picking tulips is considered a crime
though you believe that Class becomes optional once the weather gets nice
Who wants to be inside when you can be at the beach?
The cost of your food is insane
How can a yogurt and a water possibly be $10?
The Portal will always let you down come class registration night...
...And Pride Print has failed you one too many times to count
You've snapped at least one photo of a Hofstra cat
This is your favorite statue
You lost faith in the Blue Beetle early on during Freshman year
Happens every time it hits a bump...
You're way too comfortable receiving weekly texts and emails about off-campus robberies
Free t-shirts are the main reason you attend sporting events
And You considered joining Greek life just for the jacket
But probably decided against it in the end.
Weekends as a freshman were spent at Nacho's and Dizzy's
And you anxiously awaited the day you could finally get into McHebe's
You've tried going out every. single. night.
Which is possible thanks to Greek Night Tuesdays, Wing Night Wednesdays, Ladies Night Thursdays, Happy Hour Fridays, and Social Saturdays.
Napolini's Pizza is everything
You haven't lived until you've had their buffalo chicken slice.
But Dutch Treats is your final destination after a night out
But if it's still before 2AM, you know you'll be at Hof USA
You know a bacon, egg, and cheese from Coliseum Deli is the perfect cure for even the worst of hangovers
and If you didn't know anything about Judaism before you came here, you definitely do now
You've even picked up a little Hebrew. Mazel Tov!
your Jewish friends have even shown you the best bagel stores
You've mastered getting through the atrium without having to take a pamphlet
But swiping into the turnstiles is still next to impossible
Getting caught in a Hofstra vs. Zombies crossfire is horrifying
and the post office lady is NEVER there when you want to pick up your package
You know Gala is the equivalent of Oscar night
And you've always wanted to be one of the chosen students to attend.
You've heard rumors of the Hofstra Red
And most of all, as much as you sometimes love to hate on Hofstra...
You know you'll miss it terribly when you graduate.
Gotta love this school.