6 Animals That Are Better In Bed Than You

Birds do it, bees do it — sex is an undeniable force of nature. Sure, us humans have our weird, kinky pleasures, but the animal kingdom is filled with oddities and perverse sex acts. One such peculiarity has just been found in four new insect species in Brazil. The species, belonging to the Neotrogla genus, have reversed sex organs, meaning the females have penises, while the males have vaginas. Wait, what?

Scientists say these cave insects are the first ever animals with "female penises," as described in the journal Current Biology. If you're confused (and rightfully so), it turns out that the presence of sex organs or sex chromosomes aren't what determine whether animals of a certain species are male or female. Biologists factor an animal's gametes, aka sperm for males and oocytes for females, to decide. Females usually have the highest amount of gametes.

These species have females that possess more gametes, and a spiny penis that inflates and locks into the male's vagina-like opening. (Ouch.) As if that wasn't enough of a shocker, these little critters mate for an average of about 40 to 70 hours at a time.

There's marathon sex, and then there are these guys. One couple observed by researchers did the deed for around 73 hours.

Yeah...

Check out six other animals that are probably better at getting down and dirty than you.

Antechinus

If there were ever an animal kingdom equivalent of Maury, the antechinus would be a daily guest. The mouse-like marsupial likes to get it on and are known for being promiscuous and giving birth to a litter of offspring from different fathers. Mating sessions can last up to 14 hours, and couples switch it up — literally. The species swap through several partners, and they get right down to business without any courting.

Sex can be so strenuous for males that some end up dying. Antechinus males mate competitively and the process can be so stressful that it can lead to internal bleeding, infections, and disintegrating of body tissue. Now that's dedication.

Honey Bees

The more sex a queen bee has, the more attractive and appealing she is to her worker bees. The male drones are there for only one reason: to serve as sperm banks. Once he mates with the queen, he really serves no purpose, so much so that he sacrifices his life for reproduction.

During the act, the male will insert his member into the queen, and his ejaculation is so powerful that he becomes separated from his penis, leaving it inside the female. Soon after his sperm is stored inside the female he falls to the ground, and eventually dies. Hit it and quit it was never so fitting.

Koalas

Koalas know they don't need the males to have fun. Female koalas have sex in groups, and usually with members of the same gender. Even when male counterparts are present they reject their advances and prefer the multiple touches of other lady koalas.

According to researchers, they can mate up to five at a time, (though usually in captivity). One theory is that koalas mate that way in an attempt to attract males (um, doubtful), while another speculates that it's all hormones and serves as a stress-reliever. I mean, nothing says stress-reliever like a female orgy...

Spiders

Aside from being disgustingly creepy, you've got to give it up to female spiders for dominating in the sack. Humans aren't the only ones that scream during sex: The female insect makes a series of noises to tell her partner how she likes it. The sounds, similar to squeaking leather, are in response to the male Physocylus globosus spiders' rhythmic squeezing actions. Communication is key.

On top of telling him how it's done, the female spider gets to pick and choose whose sperm she wants. They store sperm from different males inside their bodies and based on whoever gets the job done right, she picks the lucky guy to sire her babies.

Leopard Slug

Reproduction can be messy and certainly not always pretty, but nothing is as weirdly awe-inspiring as the glow-in-the-dark slimy entanglement that leopard slugs have popularized. Check out the acrobatic dangling from a tree branch as they intertwine their bodies. Good luck finding a partner who can simultaneously stimulate you while hanging upside down. Then there's the twisting and wriggling, which lasts over an hour. Did I mention their sexual appendages glow? You just can't look away.

Bats

Let's just call it and say that bats are the champions of sex. Not only are they into oral sex, but female bats are able to perform the fellatio while the male is penetrating her. (And you thought you were flexible.) Both male and females give oral sex to extend their sessions.

Fruit bats use it as foreplay, and the longer the cunnilingus before mating, the longer the male last. You guys taking notes?

Image: dottorpeni/Flickr