Bush Cracks Penis Joke At The Worst Time Possible

George W. Bush's retirement just keeps getting better. First there were the paintings. Now he's cracking dick jokes during formal occasions, like a Civil Rights speech he made on Thursday, because he's a former president and can do whatever he wants. We have a new paragon of YOLO, and his name is W.

Bush dropped the bomb at an Austin event commemorating the 50th anniversary of the Civil Rights Act.

Former presidents compare their libraries the way other men may compare their, well...

Spoiler alert: He's talking about dicks. The joke was relevant because the event was held at former President Lyndon B. Johnson's Presidential Library, which opened in 1971. Bush's own presidential library opened a year ago to fanfare, muted only slightly by the younger Bush presidency's not-so-sterling legacy.

But wait: Maybe he's always been this way? Maybe all along George W. Bush was actually the goofball in chief of the United States, like Jimmy Carter but with fewer sweaters. And more dick jokes. In fact, it's no wonder Bush felt a little threatened when Russian President Vladimir Putin went after his dog, Barney. After meeting Scottish terrier Barney on a trip to the States, Putin whipped out his own dog when Bush came to visit him, and according to Bush called the hound "bigger, stronger, and faster than Barney."

So presidents are apparently into comparing more than just their presidential libraries.

It was a slightly awkward venue for a dick joke, though. (Remembering the passage of Civil Rights legislation is maybe not the best time to start bringing the comedy, George.) But Bush spent most of his speech pushing better education and touting his controversial No Child Left Behind legislation, a hallmark of his domestic action during his presidency.

According to the most recent testing, the average reading score for a white student at age 13 is about the same as an African-American at age 17. In a nation dedicated to equal opportunity, that is scandalous. ... When we invest taxpayer dollars, it is only right to insist upon results, and when we find poor results, it is only right to blow the whistle on mediocrity.

Maybe some members of his audience lost him there. More dick jokes, less legacy, George.