Miley Cyrus Postpones More 'Bangerz' Tour Dates, So Here Are 6 Ways to Cope With That News
Due to an illness, Miley Cyrus has postponed her next two stops on the Bangerz Tour. She was recently hospitalized for an allergic reaction to the antibiotic cephalexin that she had been taking for a sinus infection, and has also been sick with the flu. So that means, according to HuffPost Celebrity, that Cyrus has opted to reschedule tour dates in Nashville, Louisville, Charlotte, Saint Louis, and Kansas City.
Say what you will about young Ms. Destiny Hope, but she works hard, and performing through a sinus infection AND the flu and whatever kind of allergic reaction she had could not have been a good time. Right now, I have two questions:
1. Cephalexin? What is that even? Has her doctor never heard of a Z-pack? They used to hand those out at my college health center like pretzels on an airplane. The Z-pack has seen me through many a sinus infection. I obviously was not consulted on this matter (because I'm not a doctor).
2. What are you supposed to do if you bought tickets?
Being sick is rough, but having your $100+ concert tickets "postponed" is painful, especially when it's unclear when Miley Cyrus will be released from the hospital.
But the good news for Miley fans is that they now have extra time to anticipate the weirdness that is no doubt awaiting them when when she takes the stage once again. So, Cyrus lovers, just sit back, and deal with your free night with some imagination. For example, you can:
Go crazy with your outfit
So the dates you bought tickets for got postponed. No problem! You now have extra time to put together highest-cut, sparkliest, furriest leotard ensemble you can manage. Because there will, no doubt, be no shortage of painfully high cut leotards and dancers in bear costumes seen onstage at the concert.
Work on your Miley tongue wag
Look on the bright side! You now have even more time to perfect your Miley tongue-waggle, so all your concert selfies will be on point. She starts the concert sliding down a giant tongue, so you know that tongue is going to be the star of the show.
Maybe don't make out with Miley
If you're anywhere near the front row at the Bangerz Tour, Cyrus is going to try to kiss you, which is probably how she got so sick in the first place. So don't do that. Or do. Just take a toothbrush and maybe some Airborne for after.
Make arrangements for someone to watch your kids
I know parents aren't generally known for their ability to know what's cool, but I guess some people are still unaware that Cyrus is not Hannah Montana anymore. We're dealing with a whole new Miley now. So if you don't want your kid or little sister to watch Cyrus prance around in a marijuana leaf-patterned leotard, touch herself, or simulate oral sex on a guy in a Bill Clinton mask, this probably isn't the concert for them. Be warned.
Make an old-school Miley playlist
"Can't Be Tamed"? "The Climb"? "See You Again"?! Classic, classic, and classic.
Keep your panties on
Cyrus reportedly stuffed a fan's thong in her mouth during one of her Bangerz Tour concerts. Don't make her eat your undies. Especially a thong. That's just mean.