Hilariously Awful Dating Tips from 1938

Ladies, are you worried that you’ll never land a husband? Have you been trying as hard as you can, even going so far as to sleep with the Princeton Mom’s book under your pillow, but to no avail? Fear not! Reddit has unearthed these handy little dating tips that are sure to solve all your romantic woes!...if, that is, you’re living in 1938.

These little vintage gems tend to surface every few years or so; since they just popped up on Imgur again, though, we feel they’re worth revisiting. We may still have a long way to go when it comes to women’s rights, but at least we’re not still stuck here. Or at least, we’re mostly not stuck here. Let’s take a look, shall we?

1. DON’T: Express Any Sort of Emotion Other Than Sheer Joy at Being With This Wonderful Man You Are Out With

Because everyone knows that men, delicate flowers that they are, cannot handle anything else.

2. DO: Wear a Bra (If You Want)

Actually, I kind of like how this one suggests that a bra might be optional. After all, who’s the best person to determine whether or not you need one? You are!

3. DON’T: Crash Your Date’s Car

“Look, Ma! No hands!” has never been more misplaced.

4. DON’T: Uncross Your Legs or Use the Armrest for Fear of Being Perceived as "Mannish"

Look at how manly her method of sitting is! How on earth is she going to land a fella like that?

5. DON’T: Send Mixed Signals. Or Something. Wait, What Were We Talking About?

Eyes up here, buddy. No means no.

6. DON’T: Talk About Other Guys You’re Currently Seeing

Ah. Now this is one I can behind. Some social niceties are timeless.

7. DON’T: Talk About Clothes

This one? A little less timeless. Some men really dig clothing and design, just like some women don't.

8. DON’T: Talk While Dancing

You know what? Just don’t talk at all. Guys love a girl who doubles as a piece of furniture.

9. DON’T: Pick Earwax Out of Your Date’s Ear

You don’t want to make him self-conscious about the state of his ear canal, now, do you?

10. DO: Pass Out Drunk, Bore Your Date, and Make the Owner of the Restaurant You’re At Tear Out His Own Hair While Screaming Loudly

Or maybe that should be a don’t. I’m not sure. There’s no caption, so I guess that means that we can make it whatever we want it to be!

Now go forth and date! Maybe you should try wowing him with one of these classic vintage recipes?

Images: Imgur