The episode begins with Donna reacting pretty much exactly the same way we did to Harvey's plotted coup against Jessica: "Holy shit."
Donna and Rachel discuss Mike's penis size, which is apparently frighteningly large. Too much information, ladies. Though the two friends had promised not to discuss Mike and Harvey's problems, the men's feud boils into a fight of their own—which leads to a disagreement between Mike and Rachel—which makes Ross even angrier with Harvey. Dominoes of discord!
Outsmarted by quartermaster Nigel, Louis Litt sadly bids farewell to his position as head of associates. "Carpe diem," he tells them, in an overwrought speech that devolves into a law-themed remake of Dead Poets Society.
Out of pity, Jessica agrees to assign Litt his own lawyer to mentor—and it's clear who he has in mind. "Did Mike and Harvey break up break up, or like take a timeout?" Litt asks Donna. Harvey gives his blessing, though he's openly skeptical about Litt's chances of recruiting Mike.
But Litt courts Mike like Casanova, plying him with a lunch of steak, wine and cheesecake (it's clear to me in this moment that I would have zero defenses against this man). He talks Ross into working a seemingly unwinnable eminent domain case on behalf of the restaurant owner.
Litt's opening statement sounds more like a Yelp review. (By the way, think "Peter's" steakhouse = Peter Luger?) The judge initially denies their motion, so naturally, they go take therapeutic mud baths in the nude. Inspired by Moneyball, Mike remembers a subtle provision in the law that wins them the case.
But does this mean they're a team? Just when Mike's ready to climb aboard the Litt train, Harvey swallows his pride and asks Ross to come back to work for him. Seeing this go down, Litt dumps the celebratory cake he'd bought to surprise Mike in the trash. D'aww.
Skeezy D.A. Cameron Dennis has gotten his hands on a video of Harvey's client Ava Hessington paying a bribe to a foreign government official. Nick, her longtime protégé, has been turned as a witness for the prosecution—but his attempt at backstabbing is no match for Harvey and Jessica's razor-sharp interrogation.
Sightings of Louis Litt's naked butt: 1.
Image via USA