Happy Mother's Day! We've got you covered on last minute gifts, but what about the card? There's no more thoughtful way to say "Thanks, for birthing me, Mom!" than with a hastily purchased piece of stationery. Card giving is an age old institution that demonstrates that you care — enough to walk into a drug store or click the "send button."
Ok, let's get real. Is there a better way to express your love, gratitude, and appreciation for your mother than with copy written by someone else? The obvious answer is "yes." And while there are beautiful, poignant Mother's Day cards on the market that might express your sentiments better than you could do yourself, for every card like that...there's a card like the those below, which are just plain awful. If you treat your mom to one of these, the most awful Mother's Day cards available, then you better buy her one hell of a gift to go with it.
Pro tip? Don't call your mom a slut.
Because nothing says "Happy Mother's Day" then a value card with no message. Is this saying your mom is a value mom? That's probably not the best Mother's Day message to send...but hey, at least it's clear that it's a Mother's Day card, not just a "generic card." This card is for mothers and ONLY mothers!
Now, that's just mean.
Not all moms are great with sarcasm. Also, this seems relatively accusatory. Way to bring a mom to tears on her holiday.
What if she can't read the fine print?!?! This is dangerous for mothers with bad eyesight!
And that, my friends, is what we call "cringe inducing."
You may not see the danger in this card, as it seems like a perfectly acceptable and very nice choice to send to a stepmom, aunt, or local pub crawler who you look up to. But if you send this card to your actual mother? Can't you just imagine her tears? "I'm LIKE a mother to you!?! But I AM your mother!" And if a valley girl bought this card ("you're, like, a mom to me!") she's just stating the obvious that her mother is her mother...and, yeah. That is a card fail. But a great choice to motherly figures in your life! Just not for your mom.
That's just a little too blunt, don't you think?
Read the fine print. Hopefully on the inside the card says "April fools!" but I'm going to guess it doesn't because Mother's Day occurs in May. I'm also willing to wager "JK LOL XOXO" doesn't go over so well with moms, especially the menopausal set.
Actually, this card's great. It states the obvious, is direct, and proves that handwritten cards are, indeed, the best kinds of cards.