5 Things He Actually Believes About North Korea

In what sounds like an episode of South Park, former basketball player Dennis Rodman is BFFs with North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un these days. And in Rodman's latest interview with DuJour magazine, we learned that Kim Jong-un "loves Americans," among other things. Right. Sure. So, what else can Rodman teach us about his ol' buddy Kim? Let's sit back and digest what Madonna's ex-boyfriend has to tell us about North Korea...

1. North Korea Has Nuclear Weapons Because They Want Peace

When asked if Kim Jong-un has ever discussed anything political with "The Worm," Rodman divulged:

I've never told this to anyone, but the last time I was there, they just came out and started saying stuff about what they want from Americans. How they want to rewrite the peace treaty, they want us to get the ships out of South Korea. He's saying the reason why they have the nuclear bombs is because they know that Americans think they can take over. He says, 'I don't want to bomb anyone. But we keep our nuclear weapons because we're such a small country — that’s the only way we can defend ourselves

And to really drive the point home...

He’s saying that he doesn’t want to bomb anybody. He said, 'I don’t want to kill Americans.' He loves Americans.

Right. Totally.

2. Kim Jong-un Didn't Execute His Uncle

In his response to the reports that Kim had fed his uncle to a pack of dogs, Rodman comments on the gullibility of everyone else but him.

You could say anything here about North Korea and people would believe it. The last time I went there, when they said they killed his girlfriend, they killed his uncle, they just fed him to the dogs… They were standing right behind me.

3. North Korean Labor Camps Aren't All That Bad

And here the UN thought people were suffering in those labor camps. Not so, says Rodman.

I’ve seen it. They work for peanuts. But like I said, he’s not like his grandfather or father. He’s not like that. He’s actually trying to change it. He’s actually doing cool things for these people, and that’s why they love him so much.

And why don't we hold other countries by the same standard, he wonders. Surely Human Rights Watch would find prisoners working in even worse conditions in Belgium.

You name any country in the world… Which country does not have that s--t? Every country has that.

4. The Entire Country Is Basically an Amusement Park

Rodman clearly experienced culture shock the first two times he visited the North Korean capital.

But the third time I went there, wow. [Pyongyang] changed a lot. New buildings were popping up and [Kim] is building all these new condos and hotels. He built the largest water park in the world, a ski resort and this big bowling alley. He’s doing everything for these people. You could go bowl for a quarter all day or go swimming all day for like 50 cents.

What?! And people say Americans are spoiled?

5. Speaking of 'The People,' Kim Jong-un Does Everything For Them

When he's not imprisoning his people for literally no reason whatsoever, Rodman says Kim Jong-un's singing Journey with them at karaoke.

When he’s around his people, he’s just like anybody else. He jokes and loves playing basketball, table tennis, pool. They love American ’80s music. They do karaoke to it.

If only someone could just bear witness to what he's seen, because it must be hard being the only person in the world who has seen this side of the misunderstood dictator.

He’s for the people. I wish they had somebody that could actually come back with me. You’ve got a five-foot-one president in a small country that scares the s--t out of people on this earth. And people here want to know, 'Is he this tyrant? Does he kill people?'

Yes.