Which Guy Is the Anti Juan Pablo?

ABC has done their best to drill into our heads that our new Bachelorette Andi Dorfman is looking for the anti-Juan Pablo. Lucky for her, now that she's met all 25 of the suitors who will be competing for her heart this season, I can already tell that not a dude in the bunch gives me any JP-vibes whatsoever. Clearly, Season 10 is off to a wonderful start, not a Juanderful one, heh heh— and it's no secret that Andi herself is definitely going to give us a better season than Juan Pablo ever did on The Bachelor.

But Andi's in luck, because contestant Patrick has promised he's not Juan Pablo. No, seriously, his exact words: "I assure you, I'm nothing like the last guy you knew who played soccer." So what does being the anti-Juan Pablo mean, exactly? It means that Patrick won't:

  1. Use the phrase "It's okay" in any capacity.
  2. Make homophobic comments.
  3. Upset us all on a weekly basis.
  4. Avoid serious, possibly game-changing conversations.
  5. Forget to show any interest in Andi or her life or what she's passionate about.
  6. Piss ABC off enough that they shape their entire marketing campaign around their feud for future series.

I'm gonna hold you to that, Patrick! Now, I have to wonder: Can this season culminate in a soccer face-off between Patrick and Juan Pablo? Now there is something I'd love to see.

Even though he gets a lot of well deserved flack, let's not forget we have Juanny Pabs to thank for Andi's casting as The Bachelorette. So thanks, big guy — this piece of television perfection wouldn't be possible without you.

Image: ABC