Did Adriana Lima & Justin Bieber Hook Up At Cannes? Hello, Cringefest — PHOTO
What happens in Cannes stays in Cannes, right? Absolutely not — especially not if Justin Bieber hooks up with Adriana Lima. Insert a collective Internet cringe right now. Beliebe you me (can't help myself there), this is a match that had to have been made in some bizarre American Horror Story alternate universe, but somehow, it happened in our very own. It makes no sense.
Earlier this month back at Cannes, the Biebs Instagrammed himself with the Victoria's Secret angel (hello, fallen angel, much?), who is famous for being, you know, stunning. What is Bieber famous for? Well, once upon a time he was famous for his adorable voice and his youthful effervescence, but nothing steals that away like DUIs, egging houses, and general douche-baggery. But I digress.
So apparently, this pic has some new info circulating around it. According to a source who's a friend of Lima's, Bieber pursued the supermodel at a club with all the vigor and testosterone a 20-year-old can muster. Lima, who is 12 years Bieber's senior, apparently was okay with this attention, as she obliged with that Instagram pic and then they supposedly hooked up — which, by the way, could mean a whole roster of things. When I was at sleepaway camp "hooking up" meant sticking your tongue in someone's mouth for two and a half seconds. Raunchy prepubsecent times, guys. For all we know, Bieber and Lima's tryst could have been nothing more significant than a 12-year-old's first sparks of sexuality at sleepaway camp.
Beisdes, the source said they were just having fun, which is a good thing, considering Lima recently split from her husband of five years, Marko Jaric. She's vulnerable, Biebs! And also, Adriana Lima — you can do so much better. Let's hope you were just doing his Instagram a favor.