New McDonald’s Mascot 'Happy' Gets the Horror Movie Treatment

We’ve already established that everyone in the entire world is creeped out by McDonald’s new Happy Meal mascot, “Happy” — including the kids to whom he’s supposedly meant to appeal. As such, it was only a matter of time before he was put to… other uses. Sinister uses. Uses that will shock you to your very core. And also possibly make you laugh your head off, because Happy has just been Photoshopped into a whole bunch of classic horror movie posters. The results? Are priceless.

In the wake of Happy’s baffling launch two weeks ago, graphic design company DesignCrowd held a contest asking their community to stick the McHorror into existing posters for their favorite scary movies. The contest isn’t endorsed by McDonald’s, but that doesn’t matter — the whole thing is perfect. It’s a classic horror movie setup: All Happy wants is to be loved. But after being introduced into the world with great fanfare by his proud parent company, the poor mascot finds to his horror that the very people from whom he seeks affection run screaming away from him in terror. Shunned by the world, he disappears into seclusion, growing more twisted and bitter with each passing year. “They’ll learn to love me,” he thinks, plotting and scheming in the darkness. “I’ll make them love me — even if I have to kill them to do it!” (Call me, Hollywood. I've got plenty more where that came from.)

Some standouts include Jaws:

Tagline: Just when you thought it was safe to go back to McDonald’s…

Saw:

Screw Jigsaw — Happy is way scarier.

Last year’s Evil Dead remake:

Not going to lie — that one is my favorite.

And The Blair Witch Project:

Interestingly, Happy takes the place of Heather Donohue’s face here, implying that he is not the witch, but rather one of the hapless filmmakers who falls prey to her. Did anyone else’s brain just reimagine this scene with a giant anthropomorphic Happy Meal in the lead? No? Just me? OK then.

Nor are DesignCrowd the only ones imagining Happy’s backup career as a horror movie character. Smosh.com has dreamed up (nightmared up?) a whole bunch of original plots for him to star in; Foodiggity has inserted him into iconic scenes from movies like Psycho and The Silence of the Lambs; and iHorror took a moment to remind us that the original Ronald McDonald — the one from 1963 — is way, way more terrifying than Happy could ever hope to be. Warning: Nightmare fuel ahead.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go look at a lot of photos of kittens.

There. That's better.

Images: Design Crowd