Katy Perry's Song About John Mayer Will Make Her the Next Taylor Swift

If you've learned anything from Taylor Swift at this point, it's that John Mayer is kind of full of himself. All right, so that's more of a lesson you learn from actually listening to John Mayer say anything rather than from listening to Swift's "Dear John" on repeat for several months, but the lesson remains the same. When Katy Perry and John Mayer broke up despite so many of us being convinced at the time that they might be engaged, it was really the best thing for both of them. By all reports, there's just not enough room in a relationship with John Mayer for his ego and a second person. Hence why Mayer is taking credit for songs exes write about him in light of the recent news that Katy Perry plans to write a song about their break up.

That's a lot to process all at once. After all, since when is Katy Perry secretly Taylor Swift in a wig? It's not that Swift has a monopoly on writing songs about guys (or girls) that screwed you over, but she does have a monopoly on naming those guys before or after the song comes out. We still aren't 100 percent sure who "You're So Vain" was written about and it's been 42 years since that song came out. If Perry had simply released a song called "You Know Who You Are", she wouldn't have needed to point fingers at Mayer for us all to, indeed, know who he is.

Then again, all she said to Cosmopolitan magazine on the subject was that "there's no bad blood, but I'm sure there will be inspired songs." Perhaps we're all getting ahead of ourselves. Instead of earning an entire song to himself, Mayer might have only inspired a line or a brief cameo in an upcoming video.

Try telling that to Mayer himself, however. When TMZ caught up with him on Tuesday and brought up Perry's words, Mayer assured them that he was fine with it. "You're supposed to write songs. You're just not supposed to tell everybody you're doing it." Just when you start thinking that John Mayer has a point, or wondering if agreeing with John Mayer is the sign of a downward spiral in your life, he went on to say, "I actually want everybody's song to go number one. I purposely stopped writing hits to give other people a chance to have number one songs."

Oh, really, John Mayer? Is that why? Is anyone else really glad he cleared that up? Because it must have been keeping everybody up at night, being plagued with the question of why, exactly, John Mayer stopped writing hits. Of course, no one is denying that John Mayer is talented (anyone who says they don't tear up while listening to "Daughters" is a filthy liar or a robot), but when he makes statements like that — which was probably a joke — he pretty much reminds us why we like the music more than the man.

As for Katy Perry's upcoming song about him, perhaps she should try starting off with the title "Dear John, You're So Vain". Then again, the mystery of that song is part of its lasting popularity, so maybe not.