Gwyneth Paltrow Thinks Water Has Feelings — Can Ya Blame Her?

Divorce is hard. Conscious uncoupling is harder... I assume. At least, that's what Gwyneth Paltrow's bizarre new blog post about water having feelings, which is somehow even more baffling than the treasure trove of out-of-touch insanity that has been Paltrow's history of foot-in-mouth disorder, seems to prove.

If you don't subscribe to Paltrow's GOOP email, you might be missing out on some of the (yes, dead serious) lifestyle blogging that she regularly does on every subject from parenting to beauty to organic living to travel, all with the point of view of the kind of person who would rather "smoke crack than eat cheese from a can."

Here is what she writes in Wednesday's latest gem of a blog post:

I am fascinated by the growing science behind the energy of consciousness and its effects on matter. I have long had Dr. Emoto’s coffee table book on how negativity changes the structure of water, how the molecules behave differently depending on the words or music being expressed around it.

In case your brain blanked out halfway through that paragraph due to complete information overload, the gist is this: Gwyneth Paltrow believes water has feelings.

Yes, it's insane that she makes money writing this kind of stuff. Yes, it's infuriating that the kind of person who thinks being a movie star is harder than being a working mother with a 9 to 5 job has such a big platform from which to espouse her thoughts on everything from the shoddy service of Parisian concierges to her BFF Beyoncé. Yes, she could afford to be a little more conscientious of the world we live in and the people in it who are struggling just to get by.

But the thing is, I really don't think any of it is her fault. She was raised in Los Angeles, and her parents, Blythe Danner and Bruce Paltrow, were both actors as well. She's never known anything but Hollywood pretension and privilege. When you're raised in a bubble, it can be hard to see it for what it is, and harder still to see just what the world outside looks like. I am sure that Paltrow, like absolutely all of us, is just trying to do the best she can, and make the world a better place as well as she knows how.

I don't think Gwyneth Paltrow is a bad person, just a misguided one, and I hope that, with the life change a divorce brings, she might learn how to reign it all in a little bit.

In the meantime: WATER HAS FEELINGS?

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