It would seem that, if you're an ultra-famous celebrity, that when talking about the hardships of your personal life, you'd be very careful of what you said. At the very least, you'd have a publicist nearby to watch your words and cut you off when you were veering into dangerous soundbite territory. Not Gwyneth Paltrow, though. In the past few months, the actress has produced cringe-worthy quote after quote, about being a working mom, "conscious uncoupling," and, now, the struggles of fame. While speaking at a conference on Tuesday, Paltrow compared dealing with mean, anonymous Internet comments to the experience of going through war. Yup, you read that right.
At a California conference, Paltrow discussed the perils of the Internet, particularly for celebrities, saying that “the Internet also allows us the opportunity to project outward our hatred, our jealousy. It’s culturally acceptable to be an anonymous commenter." Although she said that she's no longer hurt by what people say about her ("I see myself as a chalkboard or a whiteboard or a screen, and someone is just putting up their own projection on it"), Paltrow did admit that there are times the comments do get under her skin.
“You come across [online comments] about yourself and about your friends, and it’s a very dehumanizing thing," she said. "It’s almost like how, in war, you go through this bloody, dehumanizing thing, and then something is defined out of it."
So, according to Gwyneth Paltrow, celebrities who deal with Internet hate are equivalent to war veterans. Horrifyingly enough, this is only the latest ridiculous, offensive, and out-of-touch comment from the actress, who seems to be digging herself into a deeper hole every time she opens her mouth. It's been especially bad whenever Paltrow decides, as she often does, to make a comment regarding the role of women or her views on feminism. So, in honor of her candor, let's play a game — who said this, Gwyneth Paltrow or Will and Grace's Karen Walker?
"I think to have a regular job and be a mom is not as, of course there are challenges, but it's not like being on set."
Who Said It: Gwyneth Paltrow, who believes that acting in one movie a year, having access to nannies, chefs, and caretakers, and being able to make one's own hours is a lot harder than, you know, not being Gwyneth Paltrow.
"I've never been to a bodega in Spanish Harlem before." Other person: "That was Macy's."
Who Said It: Karen Walker, followed by, "Macy's... hear me? I'm speaking Spanish!"
"I am who I am. I can't pretend to be somebody who makes $25,000 a year."
Who Said It: Gwyneth Paltrow, in a 2009 Elle interview. Well... at least she's honest?
"I'd rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin."
Who Said It: Gwyneth Paltrow, in 2011. Not to be confused with "I would rather die than let my kid eat Cup-a-Soup," from 2005.
"If you expect me to shop out of a bin with a bunch of mall walking blue hairs in 'I Love Grandma' tee-shirts then you got another thing coming."
Who Said It: Karen Walker. Even Paltrow isn't quite that mean.
"When you go to Paris and your concierge sends you to some restaurant because they get a kickback, it's like, 'No. Where should I really be? Where is the great bar with organic wine? Where do I get a bikini wax in Paris?'"
Who Said It: You guessed it: Gwyneth Paltrow.
"Oh, kids ruin everything. I mean look at the stitching on this. You cannot trust a ten year old to do a good hidden button."
Who Said It: Karen Walker. Apple and Moses have way more training than that.
"Good Lord I can’t believe I’m at a public pool. Why doesn’t someone just directly pee on me?"
Who Said It: Karen Walker. Please, like Paltrow would ever be caught within 100 feet of a public pool.
"We have always conducted our relationship privately and we hope that as we consciously uncouple and co-parent, we will be able to continue in the same manner."
Who Said It: This one's a gimme, but it's too good not to include. Gwyneth Paltrow, how about you consciously uncouple from speaking in public, okay?