Happy Father's Day! In addition to getting your dad a super fashionable gift or even some fancy boozy accoutrements for his bar, what better way to celebrate the literally patriarchal holiday than by crackin' some good old corny dad jokes? You know, the eye roll inducing kind that make you go, "Daaaaad!" And who doesn't love a good pun every now and then? NO ONE, that's who. Let's celebrate this holiday with jokes only a Dad could come up with.
1. Breakfast With Dad Can Often Go Like This
My dad walked into the kitchen this morning, and got an egg out of the fridge.
Dad: What is this?
Me: An egg...
Dad: No! It's a boneless chicken! He then puts the egg away and walks off laughing...
2. When Your Dad Goes To The Hospital...
Dad hurt his wrist and had to go to the hospital where he talked to a doctor.
Dad: When this heals will I be able to play the piano?
Doctor: Yes, You'll be fine in a few days.
Dad: Perfect, I've always wanted to be able to play an instrument.
3. Doing Coke With Dad
4. Toasters With Dad
5. This Is Sticky
6. Don't Call A Plumber For This
7. Did Your Dad Have You Worried?
8. Dads Pick Their Noses And Stay Stuff Like...
"I thought it was a booger, but it's snot."
9. What Do You Want To Eat? Do You Feel Like Ice Cream?
"Funny, you don't look like an ice cream."
10. When Your Dad Wakes Up
11. Oh No, Not This One Again...
"Really, which one?"
13. A Man Walks Into A Bar...
Ow, that hurt.
14. And On That Note...
15. Did Your Dad See Legally Blonde?
16. Dads Would Laugh At This
17. Classic Dad
18. Does Your Dad Like To Listen To Rock?
Of course he does.
19. Um, Dad...
20. And This Dad Gets Into The Awkward Zone, Too...
21. But Dads Always Are Great At Reciting Platitudes To Lift Your Spirits Or Teach You A Lesson...
...Or make you roll your eyes.
Ah, Well, It Just Must Be Part of Being A Dad
So wish your dad a Happy Fathers' Day! Hopefully it won't suck!
Dammit. I just did that, didn't I.