January Jones vs. Coco Rocha: Who Was the Better Teenage Bride?

Luckily, I don't mean that literally: January Jones and Coco Rocha don't have any secret ex-husband skeletons lurking in the closet (that we know of). No, it just happens that the fashion world's darling and the one-time Emmy nominee both happen to share a dark past...in — DUN-DUN-DUUUUN! — bridal catalogue modeling.

No disrespect to the bridal models out there — it's just hard to fathom that Rocha wasn't always BFFs with Karl Lagerfeld, and Jones wasn't always glamming it up in coveted mid-century fashion. Seeing these ghosts of their pasts rear their heads through the magic of Throwback Thursday was a tad jarring. Though to be fair, it was a great laugh for fans, and ultimately, a heartening message for anyone who finds themselves in a less-than-happy stage of their career launch — it's a reminder that we all have to start somewhere (cue inspirational music). So maybe you're not at the top of your respective field today — who knows where you'll be in 5-10 years?

Anyway, while Jones is busy promoting Mad Men for this year's awards circuit, and Rocha is attending some of fashion's hottest events and walking in only the most elite of fashion shows, let's pit them against each other for a little friendly competition:


The editorial-ready face is there, but from what I know from watching a couple seasons of America's Next Top Model (shut up, I totally know what I'm talking about), the posing is... awkward. And the fact that she looks a good dozen or two years younger than the average bride doesn't help much either. Rocha confirms this herself with the caption — she refers to the shot as "first and only awkward teen bride shoot."


Okay, now Jones' styling may be a little on the aggressively-'90s side, but there's no denying the fact that she's giving some fabulous face. Shellacked-into-oblivion updo, scary Bo-Peep lace veil, and brown lipstick, thick waterlined eyes and overplucked eyebrows not withstanding, she was every bit the unattainably beautiful Grace Kelly-lookalike almost twenty years ago that she is now.

There are a lot of factors here — Rocha has the challenge of full body posing, while Jones is only modeling a veil. Plus, it was Rocha's first bridal shoot, while Jones was an experienced "model bride/bridal model," something she alerts us to with her hashtag, "#ifonlyihadanickelforeverytimeivebeenafakebride."

Still, I think this one has to go to January Jones... because who knew she was serving up icy Betty Draper-realness way back in '96?