If you were watching the 2014 World Cup, then you couldn't help but notice a special person sitting out there in the audience. No, you didn't see a ghost. There was a man dressed like Teddy Roosevelt at the World Cup, because there's nothing more American than the man who gave us the Teddy Bear. Naturally, the Internet took this whole thing and ran with it, culminating in a viral Vine video that's sweeping the Twitterverse. Dressing like Teddy Roosevelt is a lot better than acknowledging how you really feel about the Portugal v. United States match, am I right?
Apparently I am, because the Teddy Roosevelt guy is all that anyone is talking about rather than the results of the match. The man, who has affectionately been nicknamed Teddy Goalsevelt but whose real name is Mike D’Amico, had no idea that he had become an Internet sensation essentially overnight, but he seems to be taking it in stride.
Because it's only a matter of time before Teddy Roosevelt becomes a meme, we thought we'd get in on the fun before everyone else. The man dressed as Teddy Roosevelt was the biggest fan of the United States in the audience — and responded to their goal accordingly — but how would he respond to some of the big celebrity news stories out there? Time to find out.
Anna & Elsa Reconciling
Just like anyone else with eyes and a heart, Teddy Roosevelt had to cheer when Elsa finally overcame her anxieties and fears to reconcile with her sister in Frozen. I bet he even knows all the words to “Let It Go”.
Rihanna may be one of the queens of controversy, but even her biggest detractors have to admit that she looked damn good in this dress. Even if they can’t admit it, Teddy Roosevelt will admit it for them.
The Kimye Wedding
We might not have gotten to see the Kimye wedding — nor, apparently, will we be seeing it on Keeping Up with the Kardashians this season — but that heavily photoshopped kiss has won its place in our heart and in Teddy Roosevelt’s.
Diagon Alley at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter
What’s that? They’re expanding the Wizarding World of Harry Potter? And it opens as early as July 2014? YEEEEEEEESSSSSS!!!!!!
Destiny's Child Reuniting
Okay, so Destiny’s Child didn’t actually reunite. However, we were all definitely watching that Michelle Williams “Say Yes” music video to see the three of them side-by-side once more. And so was Teddy Roosevelt.
The On the Run Tour
Beyoncé and Jay Z are going on a joint summer tour that has the best promotional video in the world. Who cares about the World Cup when you could be watching Queen Bey? Certainly not Teddy Roosevelt.
Game of Thrones has so many deaths that it’s practically a meme in and of itself. But when Joffrey finally died, the Internet rejoiced. Even his actor rejoiced. Even Teddy Roosevelt rejoiced. I bet we’re all still rejoicing.
Maks & Meryl
The only thing better than Maks and Meryl being anywhere near each other is Maks and Meryl finally admitting that they’re a couple. While we wait for one, Teddy Roosevelt will cheer on the other.
It’s pretty much been unanimously decided that Lupita Nyong’o is a national treasure and we all screamed when she won that Oscar. However, none of us were happier for her than Teddy Roosevelt, am I right?
Orange is the New Black
Have you finished watching season two of Orange is the New Black yet? Teddy Roosevelt has and he thought it was awesome. If he has any complaints at all, it’s that the season definitely needed more Alex Vause.
Justin Bieber & Selena Gomez