New York Bans Tiger Selfies, Dashing the Hopes and Dreams Of Tinder Bros Everywhere
Trying to build the perfect online dating profile or find the perfect profile photo is tricky, but necessary. But if you live in New York, it's gotten that much more difficult to take a photo that conveys all the things you want — you're loving! Daring! Good with animals! New York's state assembly has just banned taking selfies with tigers. The law, which makes “hugging, patting, or otherwise touching tigers” illegal, is designed to make fairs and circuses safer. Which is good I guess?
If you're sitting there scratching your head as to why this is a problem big enough to merit a law, you are not alone. However, it turns out that tiger selfies are more common than you'd think. Apparently lots of guys use photos of themselves posing with a tiger in profile pics in order to convey that they are adventurous yet cuddly. And, it seems, not one to worry too much about the consequences of getting really, really close to a deadly predator. I'm aware that in the study of evolution, sexual selection often seems counter-intuitive, but seriously, someone resurrect Darwin to explain this one, please.
The new law is not directly aimed at guys using tigers to score points – or just score – on dating sites, but lawmakers are rather pleased that it will also kill the tiger selfie trend. Needless to say, they don't feel too bad about cramping these bros' style. “They can still pose with bears and monkeys,” Assemblywoman Linda Rosenthal says. “They just have to take big cats off their list.” Poor dudes.
But actually, this bill probably has more to do with the fact that over the past 15 years there have been seven instances in New York where tigers escaped from a circus or fair and injured someone. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that preventing escaped tigers is a good reason to do anything.
The fine for taking a picture while touching a big cat is up to $500. I guess now guys will just have to find other ways of convincing us they're daredevils with a sensitive side. Maybe they will have to use normal house cats? Or maybe try goats since goats are apparently the new cats. Or these lost and wayward bros could follow the advice of Stephen Colbert.