Sarah Jessica Parker's Inner Monologue in 'Busted' Would Go Something Like This

Sex and the City fans, rejoice: Sarah Jessica Parker is returning to television. The woman formerly known as Carrie Bradshaw has been cast as one of the lead roles in Busted, based on a book of the same name written by Wendy Ruderman and Barbara Laker. The non-fiction story tells about Laker and Ruderman's investigative reporting into the extensive police corruption in Philadelphia.

The story is a harrowing and inspiring tale of two strong female journalists. So naturally, Parker took this role for one reason: Her character must have Carrie Bradshaw-esque inner monologues. This is her first return to television in a decade, so her character shall, by allllll means, have the pun-filled inner monologues that sum up all the action in the episode, right? Well, if she does, we think they'd sounds a little something like this:

The police chief seemed suspicious, but maybe the only crime he was guilty of was stealing my heart. And so I asked myself: is love a punishable offense?

While the sheriff was fabricating another narcotics bust, I was getting bust-ed for my own addiction... Manolos.

While Martinez was discovering just how corrupt his fellow policemen were, my core was about to erupt in a criminally tough Pilates class.

But as the story was about to be published, I felt conflicted. After all, cops are human too. And aren't we all just a little bit criminal?

But while the cop car blasted Michael Jackson, he wasn't exactly a "Smooth Criminal." Wendy and I were on his trail, and we were about to find out just how "Bad" he was.

I felt a little guilty for being the one who caused these cops to lose their jobs, but I knew I was doing the right thing. They did the crime, and now I was in the Times.

We kid because we love. Congrats on the new kick-ass role, SJP!

Images: Tumblr/sal-b